Holding Hostages on Soaps For Dummies

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decker

General Hosptial may have cornered the market on hostage situations, but As the World Turns is writing the book. Here we have the dastardly Decker holding uber cop Margo Hughes at gunpoint. This is step No. 1 in the Holding Hostages For Dummies handbook.

Step No. 1: Notice how Decker is holding the door, ready to use it as a quick distraction. This is the first and most important rule to remember when holding someone hostage. Always have distraction ready to take the bullet instead of you.

decker1

Step No. 2: Once you've "shot" past step No. 1 in the Holding Hostages on Soaps for Dummies you must move onto step No. 2 if you haven't escaped safely. Find the nearest hospital, grab a helpless patient and point the barrel of your gun straight down at their cranium while maneuvering the bed to be in front of you so that you can push it at your would be arresting officers. Once you've used this key Holding Hostages on Soaps for Dummies step dive and/or crash through the nearest glass window and move onto step No. 3.

decker2

Steph No. 3: Step No. 3 is quite possibly the most controversial Holding Hostages on Soaps for Dummies step, with two schools of thought vying for supremacy. The first school of thought is that you shoot the show's heroine and let unqualified professionals sew them back up with dental floss while you make your getaway. This is a particular favorite of a one James Craig, Port Charles resident. The second school of thought, demonstrated here by Dr. Decker, maintains that a professional hostage taker should use the show's "heroine" as a body shield and drag them through countless halls, elevators, and escape passages while pursued by the authorities. At the last possible moment you shoot the hostage to distract your pursuers and make a clean getaway.



Holding Hostages on Soaps for Dummies
is an ongoing compilation of tips for would be hostage holders. You can submit your Holding Hostages on Soapsfor Dummies tip by commenting on this post.