Why I Hate Sam From A-Z, Rebuttal

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General Hospital's Sam vs. Liz (Kelly Monaco and Rebecca Herbst) debate is one that rages across the web, on blogs and in forums. Ironically, instead of building on the rivalry and amping things up to draw viewers in, since last fall's cat fight at the Black and White Ball the show seems to have slowly ebbed off the rivalry, to the point that now Sam and Liz are actually almost friendly to one another. Honestly, I don't understand why the show hasn't turned Sam and Liz into the next great rivalry. All the pieces are there.

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Last fall I posted Why I Hate Sam From A-Z. Recently, the post made a reappearance and now long-time Daytime Confidential reader and TV Fan Online Forum member Erica's Evil Twin has written a rebuttal. Check it out after the jump.

A is for AIR TIME. She gets way too much air time. Must she counsel everyone?

B is for BITCHY BROWS. Whenever the slightest thing happens to upset Ms. Snarkabrow, she uses her Bitchy Brows to express her displeasure. Didn’t her mommy ever tell her that her face could freeze like that?

C is for CHILDREN. Liz must love children since she has managed to get pregnant four times by four different men, but never by a man she was actually involved with at the time. Can we say TRAMPY?

D is for DESPERATE. Liz showed her desperation every time Jason chose another woman over her, but the best example came when she climbed 29 flights of stairs just for a booty call. And now her constant begging with Jason is so desperate that it borders on pathetic.

E is for EVERYTHING. Everything is always about Liz. She offers advice to all her friends, but most of the time she is really working through her own issues in her head or in general referencing her not so secret relationship with Jason. Liz needs to give her brows a rest and focus on using her listening ears.

F is for FATHERS. Liz obviously does not place much value on fatherhood, since she lied to Lucky and Jason for more than a year about Jake, the same way she tried to lie to Zander and Ric about paternity issues. Liz never learns from her mistakes.

G is for GOOD GIRL. Liz is able to portray herself as the “good girl” because friends and lovers continually cover up her lies and misdeeds. Two words Liz should learn – INDIVIDUAL RESPONSIBILITY.

H is for HYPOCRITE. Little Miss Perfect bashed pretty much every woman Jason dated or befriended for being a “Mob Moll” but the first chance she got to be with Jason, her so called standards went out the window.

I is for IGNORED. Liz came to PC more than a decade ago and in all that time her parents have never come for even an off-screen visit. Her sister has only visited once and her brother lives in town but has no relationship with her. What is it about Liz that even her own family has no interest in her?

J is for JEALOUS. Over the years, Liz has been jealous of her sister Sarah, Gia, Maxie, Sam, Courtney, and Carly (and we will be able to add Claudia to the list when Liz finds out how non-resistant Jason was to the idea of marrying Claudia). Maybe this is the real reason why the Jiz color is GREEN?

K is for KILLERS. It’s a good thing that so many of the criminals in PC are inept, because Liz couldn’t save herself from a toddler armed with a spork.

L is LIES. Liz has no problem lying to get her way. She committed perjury for Jason, lied to Lucky, Jason, Zander and Ric regarding paternity results, framed her own sister for cheating, slept with her best friend’s ex-husband, stole a file from police headquarters and let Sam take the fall for her crime, and drove under the influence and then asked Lucky to cover up her crime – LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE, Ms. Webber.

M is MOOCH…. Liz mooched off Audrey for years and now she lets Lucky pay child support for two boys she would gladly rip right out of his arms if Jason gave the word.

N is for NURSING. Between tending to Jason, dropping off and picking up her kids from daycare, and dispensing advice to everyone on staff, it’s a wonder that Liz has any time for actual nursing duties.

O is for OVERBEARING – If she wasn’t so overbearing, I might say she was as gossipy as Amy Vining ever was, but add to that her self-importance and Liz crosses the line into being overbearing. No one is safe from a lecture when Nurse Lizzie is on duty.

P is for PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE. We can’t get married if we aren’t in love, can’t we Jason? We can’t be together if its not safe, can we? Can I, Can’t I? Whenever Liz doesn’t want to be responsible for the consequences of her own choices, she tries to get someone else to make the decision for her. Just one of the many ways she exhibits her passive-aggressive tendencies.

Q is for QUIET. Whenever Lizzie is in love, she feels that she has to talk to her lover in a quiet, baby like manner even when they are talking about everyday stuff. Most women outgrow that when they leave puberty behind.

R is for RAPE. Liz was a courageous rape survivor who handled a terrible ordeal with strength and determination, but when Ric let Carly believe he had raped her, Liz not only made excuses for Ric, but she even blamed the victim. Given her experience she should have been more understanding.

S is for SAFETY. Liz stayed in safety out in the barn with one of the only guns on the island while the TMZ was knocking off her friends. In fact, when Emily told her she needed to go back to the house to untie Nicholas – because tied up he was a sitting duck for the killer, Liz let her BFF head off ALONE, ultimately resulting in her death.

T is for TOO BAD. When Ric kidnapped Courtney and was threatening to kill her, Jason was frantic to find his wife. Liz refused to even hear Jason out, and when he asked for her help she told him TOO BAD. I wonder if she was thinking about her “ten years in the making” love affair while Courtney was fighting for her life.

U is for UNLIKELY… Liz should have known it was unlikely that Sam wouldn’t fight back when Liz decided to sucker punch her at the Black and White Ball. Liz slapped Sam, and Sam taught her what a roundhouse looks like. If ever there was a character that deserved a black eye, its Liz Webber.

V is for VICTIM. Liz constantly plays the victim – poor little Liz. Someone please call Liz a WAAAHHHHHHMbulance.

W is for WRONG GUY: Liz was certain one of her teachers was the man that raped her with little more than the scent of his cologne as her evidence. She tried to murder him and ended up stabbing Lucky, but she had the wrong guy.

X is for EXCUSES…Liz always has a lot of excuses but what was her excuse for letting Nik twist in the wind twice for crimes he didn’t commit, first Zander’s “murder” and then Sam’s hit and run. With friends like Liz who needs enemies

Y is for YAWN. There isn’t a character on canvas that is more yawn-worthy than Elizabeth. There is a reason why the character is usually back-burnered during sweeps – Liz is DULL.

Z is for ZANDER When Zander refused to give her full custody of their unborn child, Liz tried to kill him with a lead pipe. Memo to self: don’t get in the way of Little Lizzie getting her own way.