Last Week's B&B: Bimbo Bags Honey Bear

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At the beginning of the week, Rick (Kyle Lowder) vowed to change and make his family proud. This doesn't bode well - if he’s going to follow the moral code of his family, he’s either going to start coming to work dressed like a hooker or start straddling Nick Marone.

Phoebe’s death continued to stir up animosity between Stephanie and Brooke, and again both Katherine Kelly Lang and Susan Flannery rocked their scenes. Taylor blamed herself and, in my opinion, Hunter Tylo was great in what must be an incredibly hard storyline for her to play out.

Phoebe’s memorial service took place in Taylor’s living room, where her weirdly placed sink seemed to have disappeared. I also wondered where she got all those chairs from, but maybe that was just me. I guess she borrowed them from Nick, who had quite a stash after his backyard wedding to Bridget.

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We were treated to a Phoebe montage with her “Always There, Daddy” song playing in the background. I was hoping for a flashback of her goth makeover, but it didn’t happen. (See Mike’s post about Taylor, Steffy and Thomas for some true goth makeover fun.) Constantine didn’t even bother to show up, despite the fact they’d just been touring together for months on end. I was holding out for one last duet – Bridget (AKA Dougie Forrester, MD) could’ve momentarily reanimated the corpse and it would’ve been quite the show shopper.

Rick wasn’t welcome at the service and Ridge asked Brooke to get her son the hell out of there. Then Eric pretty much said, “that’s all folks!” And with that, the ceremony was over. By the end of the week, Brooke had listened to Ridge’s case and agreed to ship Rick off to Forrester International again. Like hell that’s gonna happen! Kyle Lowder is fast becoming the most watchable male on this show, even when he’s given ropey speeches/nonsensical plot points to act out.

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Donna noticed the resemblance between herself and the model Thorne had hired. “Oh my God, do you get your hair done at Tramps R Us too,” she asked, “where’d you get your boobs?” (Okay, I made the dialogue up.) By the end of the week she’d boarded the Forrester jet and was ready to skip town. It was all too painful for her to stay in L.A. when horny bear didn’t love her, blah blah blah. Whatever, Donna... don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Oh, and what is this nonsense about Donna and Owen’s “surf line”? Those two dimwits couldn’t design a frikkin’ beach towel.

Silly fool Thorne was shocked to see the return of his Donna look-alike, demanding a modeling job in exchange for her silence. Guess what? Owen listened at the door, became suspicious and confronted the model, then called Thorne a “dirty dawg”. Nice, Owen, get your insults from a New Kids on the Block song. After it all came out, we had to sit through a reunion between the bimbo and her honey bear. It was quite nauseating.

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Will Rick relocate to Paris? My ass he will. Will Eric and Donna reunite? Sigh... yes. Will Bridget use her magical powers to get Rick off the hook? You betcha. Will we ever see Ronn Moss’s ears? Seriously, check that dude’s hair out. Something is amiss – I maintain that he is a Vulcan.