On the heels of Port Charles being saved from toxic balls, comes this shocking development. The WSB has detached a special toxic waste team to confiscate Sam McCall's hot tub on General Hospital. Apparently the tub has been linked to a mass spread of lethal crotch crickets across the US.
"I saw one of 'em take flight!" a startled, shirtless man declared from his front porch in Middle America. "It had big 'ol wings!"
"This is truly the worst plague to ever hit mankind," said billionaire corporate raider Edward Quartermaine. "And I should know, I was there for Noah's flood."
When asked for a statement, Ms. McCall said "No comment." before flipping our camera guy the bird. Strangely, the bald, be-spectacled man became aroused.
A second woman, presumed to be McCall's mother, Port Charles District Attorney Alexis Cassadine Davis, burst into tears and ran away from our reporter screaming, "Why couldn't Elizabeth have been my DOOTER?"
Ms. Davis's former husband, attorney Ric Lansing had this to say, "Can I get a storyline? Please? I'll do anything...I like black T-shirts. I look good in black T-shirts! Come on Jill, I was Alan-Michael for Christ's sake!"
If you see one of the toxic crotch crickets, do not, I repeat DO NOT engage it. Call Special Agent Frisco Jones IMMEDIATELY!
Stay tuned to Daytime Confidential as the shocking story plays out.