HomeTVThe Bold and the BeautifulLast Week’s B&B: Baby, You Can Call Me Bill Darren Lomas May 17, 2009 10 Comments Taylor (Hunter Tylo) blurted out that Brooke (Katherine Kelly Lang) and Ridge (Ronn Moss) weren’t married – that was the “cliff-hanger” kicking off last week’s The Bold and the Beautiful. And guess what? She failed to reveal that the marriage was invalid. There’s a shocker, huh? Instead, Stephanie interrupted things and Ridge and Brooke remained clueless. Stephanie and Taylor then hung out and cackled like witches over their machinations to destroy Brooke and Ridge’s marriage. Their plan? To wait until the cracks begin to show and then make the announcement. Cunning. Ridge is such a self-important fool he’ll probably go for whichever woman is stroking his ego the most at the time. Score one for the corpse bride. Thought the Rick and Steffy nonsense was over? Think again. Rick relented and decided not to oppose car-bomber Thomas working at Forrester. Of course, Rick was only doing it to impress Little Miss Whiney, with whom he is infatuated. Either that, or he’s just trying to get at her father, Ridge. The writers can’t seem to decide… or maybe they just don’t care, which puts them on the same page as me. So, that’s two storylines that I don’t really care for. Enter Bill Spencer (Don Diamont), AKA Bearded Carlton. Stephanie met up with him – after a brief discussion they launched her Inside Fashion webcasts. Darn, they have some good IT people over at Spencer Communications. It took Katie two weeks to write a press release about Jackie M, but at Spencer Communications they launch websites in minutes. Eat that, Honey Bear! The webcasts came complete with slams against the “bitches in heat” or the “Logan bitches” just in case you didn’t get it the first time. Brooke should do her own webcast lambasting that mean old bat, reminding her of the time Stephanie tried to strangle Brooke with a telephone cord. Or pulled a gun on her. Or faked her heart attack. Morals, my ass. Jackie continued her dalliance with Owen. She put a different spin on things by saying that if he failed to keep giving her sweet lovin’ he’d be out of a job. Owen tried to warn his other sweetheart – Bridget – that maybe he wasn’t so perfect. Then he promptly answered Jackie’s booty call in the steam room. You’ve gotta love the cougar Jackie, even if virtually blackmailing Owen into servicing her is a bit gross. Bathtub Betty was smokin’. Meanwhile, sad sack Bridget was mooning over Nick and reminiscing about the kiss they’d shared. I like Budge, she’s one of my faves, but she has a hottie like Owen trying to get into her spangly bikini, yet she can’t get Nick out of her system. Argh! This is the man who ditched her time and again, was obsessed with her mother, and ruined his last chance with Bridget by sleeping with her aunt. I mean, really. She needs to design herself a couture Jackie M dress with DOORMAT emblazoned on it if she’s gonna go there again. Donna wanted Bill to take down Stephanie’s webcasts, but he was only willing to do that if she put out. There wasn’t much spark between the two of them – I really hope Bill gets to mix it up with some other B&B women sooner rather than later. Maybe Donna was attracted to him, I couldn’t tell, but it seems doubtful she’ll surrender her meal ticket with Honey Bear. Only a day or so earlier, there was yet another scene with her fooling around with a bottle of honey whilst sitting on Eric’s lap. Yes, I’m serious. Ugh. Brooke and Ridge talked (and I forced myself to stay awake). She promised she’d back him up against Rick should he cause problems. Just a few doors down at Forrester Creations, Rick was showing Steffy a dreadful Phoebe “tribute” DVD. It had her I’ll Always Love My Daddy song for its soundtrack, with an earnest voiceover from Rick lamenting the death of Curly Sue. There weren’t even any goth makeover scenes. Lame. So, all hell broke loose as Ridge, Taylor and Brooke saw the DVD and had differing opinions. Brooke was all oh, this is so sweet, while Ridge and Taylor were spitting blood. Morticia and Gomez were fuming – according to them it was Rick’s latest manipulation. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t… at this point I am pinching myself just to stay conscious through the Rick and Steffy angst. Ridge, blustering away as usual, to Brooke: “I told you very clearly what I needed!” You need a reality check, that’s what you need you pompous buffoon. After Brooke and Steffy left the room, Ridge was on the verge of admitting his marriage was a mistake. All because of Rick? Puh-lease. The week ended with Taylor making the same claim she did the week before: Brooke and Ridge weren’t married. Well, thank goodness, because Brooke deserves better than that jackass. Take him, Doc. Relive the wonderful years when he made you play wifey try-outs with Brooke and impregnated Morgan. Yeah, it was beautiful. To see Stephanie’s Logan-bashing webcasts click here and here. For Rick’s nauseating Phoebe tribute, get yourself a sick bucket and click here. 10 Responses BillBeaverPA May 18, 2009 If only the show was as half as entertaining as the sumaries are… Log in to Reply Darren Lomas May 18, 2009 I should write the damn show, right?! If only…. Log in to Reply SoapSnob May 18, 2009 Darren, your love for B&B is very obvious in your biting, hysterical and very truthful weekly recaps. Five months later, I do not understand why the writers are STILL forcing Rick and Steffy on us as an audience. I do not care if Rick is trying to get revenge on Ridge and I do not care if Rick “really” loves Steffy. They simply lack appeal and are boring/disgusting/obnoxious as a couple. Rick and Steffy will go down as one of the worst “couples” in the history of the genre. Either the writers need a serious reality check or they need to hand the reigns of the show over to someone who can actually write. Or who actually WANTS to write. Log in to Reply siomonstuart2003 May 18, 2009 I hope AMC win for the best show for this year’s Emmy, but that show is bad too, but is way more entertaining than this piece of crap. AMC is bad in a laugh out loud kind of way. JMW is the Molly Burnett of B&B. She can’t act and is dull and boring and why is the show forcing this hair model down our throats, just like Jennifer Gareis as Donna, when Lesli Kay can’t get a s/l to save her life. I want to see this show get better, but with Brad he will screw up this s/l to the point of not caring about the show anymore. Thank God for MAB and Y&R because that is the only show that is good and I can’t wait until next episode. Log in to Reply snizzle May 18, 2009 I only caught a few episodes last week unfortunately I sat thru the Phoebe tribute *GAG* I hope they don’t waste Bill Jr on that plastic blow up doll known as Donna. Log in to Reply siomonstuart2003 May 18, 2009 Snizzle, yeah, I hope Bill crush Donna and get rid of Steffy. The girl can’t act to save her life and get rid of Rick and Ridge too. Log in to Reply Darren Lomas May 18, 2009 Thanks for your comments SoapSnob and Scrubsfan Rick/Ridge/Steffy are trying my patience BIG TIME. Will it ever end? SimonStuart, I’d love for LK to get a storyline, but all she ever does is try and get her geriatric parents back together. She is wasted, whilst Dumbutt is front and center rubbing herself in honey. Bleurgh. Log in to Reply siomonstuart2003 May 18, 2009 Darren, the Phoebe tribute was a joke and I don’t feel sympathy for the family because we didn’t know or care about Phoebe and that the s/l was a bad joke. The acting in it was so bad that we and the fans mock it. But Cassie’s death on Y&R was touching and well written because the acting was on point and we love and care about Cassie and was shock about her death that create s/l for years to come from the Nick and Sharon divorce to Phyllis and Nick hooking up to Daniel going on trial to Summer being born to Sharon going crazy to Nick and Sharon’s love again. That what got us hook and care about the characters and s/l. B&B is just making it very hard to care anyone in this s/l because the acting was bad, we didn’t see or care about Phoebe for some time now and the ridiculous Reffy coupling and Rick and Ridge dumb macho act is so bad that I just want to scratch my eyes out, LOL. I don’t want to see a bunch of grown men arguing over dumb stuff and no one cares about them. I feel bad for Katherine who have to be involve with these idiots and still stick on an overgrown self-absorbed jerk and hope that they end the toxic relationship by hooking her up with Bill or Whip. Please save us from this horrible s/l and put the crappy actors on the back burner forever. Log in to Reply Darren Lomas May 18, 2009 Let’s just burn the crappy actors – they are doing my nut in. I honestly cannot believe how long this Reffy/Sick idiocy has been shoved down our throats… one thing Brad Bell is notoriously good at doing is ditching storylines that stink to high heaven (a la Ridget)… how much more does it have to stink before someone says "enough already"?! The Y&R comparison is soooo true. They brought back the singing twit as a blonde (hello?! Look at her her parents… ) who cannot help but burst into song, stuck her in a frikkin’ SING-OFF with Constipation and Operatic Rick… who was meant to buy into that crap?! It was sub-Disney Channel junk… by the time she died I was ready to kill her myself! Y&R wouldn’t inflict that dross on viewers… Log in to Reply Scrubsfan May 18, 2009 I am new to the site. I absolutely loved your recap of B&B. Definitely better than the show itself. I look forward to reading more of them. Log in to Reply Leave a Reply Cancel Reply You must be logged in to post a comment.