Should Guiding Light Get Imaginary Bitches Creator to Take GL to the Web?



Our pal Mary Montanari who writes the Soap Opera Examiner online column for Examiner.com has written an open letter to some guy named Andrew Miller asking him to help take Guiding Light to the web. I am sorry, I don’t know what Mary is smoking, but this sounds like a TERRIBLE idea!  Here’s a snippet:

Dear Mr. Miller:

Please pardon this intrusion, but I just had a thought related to your brilliant production of the Internet based show Imaginary Bitches and the untimely demise of Guiding Light.  You have managed to create, write, direct and produce a cutting edge show that has proved to be Emmy worthy.  The cast of IB is phenomenal and of course your talented wife (Eden Riegel) has much to do with that.  

I was just wondering if you would take a moment to entertain my thoughts.  You are obviously well connected to the world of the daytime drama through your wife’s work (Bianca, AMC) as well the work of a few other IB cast members.  Surely you are aware that the Guiding Light will go dark on September 18th of this year.  

I thought you might be interested in taking this show to the Internet given the fact that its the longest running soap in the history of serialized dramas and because of the stellar writing and hot plots that have become a signature of this show lately.

Guiding Light on the web, overseen by a showrunner adept at capitalizing on the diehard fansbaes of wildly popular soap stars in launching a product that was actually committed to telling good stories prior to a cancellation notice? Why in the world would anyone think that is a good idea? That hack Miller didn’t have the creative vision to give Eden Riegel‘s character cancer while having her love interest sleep with her sister. There were no skeevy greasers molesting teenage girls on that craptastic web show of his!

I’m sorry but the best soap producers are always out-of-work, and/or aging actors desperate to try "something new", so their old pals give them multi-million dollar revenue streams to play with. What does Miller know about producing a soap opera? He never played the dual roles of Marley Love and Victoria Hudson on Another World for Agnes Nixon‘s sakes!

Miller didn’t inherit a soap from his parents that he grudingly has to mismanage even though he’d rather be composing tunes for Dionne Warwick, or checking out the holes on Peeble Beach. He didn’t strike out in primetime and film, so he has to slum his way back to daytime with his tail and his tales (as in storylines) firmly planted betwixt his legs, while making one idiotic comment to the press after another, or making a big fuss out of hiring Q-listers to "shake things up" on the dying soap his buddy is letting him destroy. Given all that, what really has prepared Mr. Andrew Miller to run a soap opera in today’s climate, I ask you?

Soap Opera producing is a very, very specialized skill Mary Quite Contrary. Just ask Ellen Wheeler, Brad Bell, Jill Farren Phelps, Julie Hanan Caruthers, Ken Corday and Chris Goutman.  It takes time and dedication to kill a soap opera, and something tells me Miller is not the man for the job!

Besides, Imaginary Bitches is a comedy, and not a very good one I’m afraid. Miller has been offering up payola for me to lie about his show, and the last check bounced all over town! Oh and Andrew, if you’re reading this, no more Canadian coins in a Crown Royal bag, or BAM-4-Ever stickers either. CASH MONEY is the only way we can roll from now on out playa!

Sorry Mary, you may be able to turn the world on with your smile,  but don’t quit your daytime job to go work for Ideas.com or nothing.  In my oh-so-humble opinion, the smart plan for keeping GL viable would be to launch a Guiding Light blog 10 years after it goes off the air this September, one that is written like a really bad Harlequin novel and call it Guiding Light Today. That will passify those pesky fans.The show’s first "episode" can open with a soap-loathing passage about all of Reva’s marriages. Maybe Roger Thorpe will return at the Bauer barbecue and Alex can say, "Roger Thorpe what are you doing here you devil?" Or something really swell and clever like that. (See Another World Today for reference). Oh, and one more thing before the medication wears off, or Luke Kerr disables my blogger account, I know Imaginary Bitches‘ leads Catherine and Heather pretty well—what happened on P.Diddy‘s imaginary yacht in the South of France, stays on P.Diddy’s imaginary yacht— and there is no way those divas are changing in the backseats of cars during winters in Peapack. Who do you think they are, Kim Zimmer?

14 Responses

  1. Profile photo of josser
    josser

    There’s no money to be made on Web programming. “Imaginary Bitches” might be a great show but its trying to make cash through DVD sales. Right? I.B. was filmed on a shoe string budget by friends.

    One thing that has always puzzled me about GL’s new production model was how it was decided to use such horrible folksy music. Does anyone know an answer to that?

  2. Profile photo of south
    south

    I love the music of GL. They use many wonderful artists such as, Kyler England, Joe Keonig, The Rescues, Naimee Coleman, Adrianne, Aaron and Andrew just to name a few. There is nothing horrible or folksy about any of these artists. Check them out on itunes. When is the last time you heard a song on a soap opera with lyrics that actually matched the emotions in a scene? GL uses music in an extraordinary way.

  3. Profile photo of Katiebug9624
    Katiebug9624

    I’m interested in the webseries that Crystal C is starting, supposedly its supposed to be a lot like the Otalia storyline, hey Jamey if you get any info let us know :)

  4. Profile photo of Katiebug9624
    Katiebug9624

    Hey josstheguy I remember the Sanctuary webseries, I actually watched the full series on Scifi they use mostly green screen right? Like you I can’t see GL going to the web unless I guess P&G put lots of money into it but in the long run they probably wouldn’t make that much in return. They could just concentrate on a few characters maybe the young ones who don’t cost them that much, or actors that just want to do it on the side but thats about it. Crystals series is supposed to be entirely new characters so it shouldn’t be related to GL but she’ll be in it and the storyline will be like Otalia or so I’ve heard.

  5. Profile photo of Dariclone
    Dariclone

    Wow, Abdrew Miller as writer for GL online? That would be all kinds of awesome. Or maybe Andrew could oust Pratt as head writer of AMC and save that show? Too bad it probably won’t happen. *sigh*

  6. Profile photo of josser
    josser

    South,

    You have your opinion and I have mine. For the most part, the music on GL has been irritating and distracting for me over the last year. While music with lyrics can be nice, it can be overused, especially if it has a Country twang. Sorry, I just don’t like Country music.

    I also don’t like the same instrumental music that Y&R constantly uses.

    The way GL is now working in June 2009 is much different than it was even in December 2008. The show feels much better. GL is the second best soap on the air now after Y&R.

    I’m so happy the crap with Beth and Alan had ended. Beth seemed so spineless. Given all that the character went through in her life to find herself “forced” to marry Alan made no sense. I digress….

    It’s just a shame that the show did not have the technology and processes figured out before launching.

    Friday/9/18/2009

  7. Profile photo of josser
    josser

    The writing on GL is dramatically better since February.

    What will Ellen Wheeler do once GL ends? Back to the boards? Hired to replace Brad Bell?

  8. Profile photo of josser
    josser

    Katiebug,

    The web series sounds interesting. I think a lot of actors are creating these series to showcase their talents and find new income opportunities. Patrick Duffy has his “Patrick Duffy and Crab” videos which are a scream. Some web shows have been picked up by cable networks.

    For instance, Amanda Tapping of “Stargate: SG1″ created a sci-fi web series called “Sanctuary” that the Sci-Fi Channel picked up for series. It’s about to start its second season.

    I’ve heard that some YouTube video producers make a couple of hundred thousand dollars. That’s good for an individual or two but not for a show like GL. To support that show’s

  9. Profile photo of josser
    josser

    Kateibug,

    Yep. Made on the cheap with no older actors. So, that would mean 3 or 4 GL actors. I’m not sure how successful the show would be.

    A storyline “like” Otalia sounds kinda lame because it would be a pale comparison.

    Sadly, I think Jessica Leccia will disappear from soaps after GL ends. The reality is that there are very few acting spots for actresses and even fewer for non-white performers. Look at the other soaps.

    Realistically, most of the GL actors are going to fall into the cracks like most of Passions cast. Only two of its actors found steady gigs.

    I just saw that Kevin Schmidt who plays Noah Newman has a couple of webseries. Check out poorpaul.com. I didn’t realize that Schmidt is a recurring character on Y&R. I’m not sure if that means he has no contract. He’s been on the show consistently.

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