What if Lionel Richie Meets Stacy Morasco on One Life to Live?

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In honor of Comodores legend, and one of my favorite singers,  Lionel Richie appearing on One Life to Live, I figured I would offer up what would happen if Richie runs into Llanview's most popular resident while he's in town, set to his iconic-yet-slightly creepy ballad "Hello". 

Lionel_Richie-prv
CrystalHunt

Lionel: I've been alone with you inside my mind.

Stacy: Yeah, that used to happen to me with Rex, but Paxil cleared it right up!



Lionel: And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times.



Stacy: Dude, you totally can't say that shit outloud! They will lock you up! Only tell your really pervy stuff to Roxy. No one listens to her or her beaver! 

Lionel: I sometimes see you pass outside my door.



Stacy: I was looking for those bags of blood I missplaced.

Lionel: Hello?

Stacy: Goodbye.

Lionel: Is it me you're looking for?

Stacy: Uh, you're starting to creep me out, and trust me, that's saying something!

Lionel: I can see it in your eyes.



Stacy: Oh that, I can't blink anymore because of the botox.

Lionel: I can see it in your smile.

Stacy: See above. 



Lionel: You're all I've ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide.

Stacy: Yeah, but you're arms aren't as hot as Rex's. Lift up your shirt!

Lionel: 'Cause you know just what to say.



Stacy: That's 'cause Fronsie writes all my dialogue!

Lionel: And you know just what to do.



Stacy: Hey, what can I say, I aims to please, on kiddie mats preferrably!

Lionel: And I want to tell you so much, I love you ...

Stacy: Aww, you're a total sweetie!

Lionel: I long to see the sunlight in your hair.



Stacy: Dude, hello? Dye job, but you're awesome to pretend not to notice!



Lionel
: And tell you time and time again, how much I care.



Stacy: Okay, I think we might need a break...

Lionel: Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow.



Stacy: Did you take too many little blue pills again?!

Lionel: Hello?

Stacy: Dude you so already said hello like five minutes ago! How many of those pills did you take?

Lionel: I've just got to let you know.



Stacy: Okay, but can we hurry this along, I have like four dates after this one!

Lionel: 'Cause I wonder where you are.



Stacy: Uh, stalker much?

Lionel: And I wonder what you do.



Stacy: Okay, I can tell we're having a serious problem with boundaries here.

Lionel: Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?

Stacy: Don't you read Daytime Confidential? Dude, NO ONE is loving me!

Lionel: Tell me how to win your heart.



Stacy: Got any blood?

Lionel: For I haven't got a clue.



Stacy: Snort. That's obvious!

Lionel: But let me start by saying, I love you ...

Stacy: Next time can you sing "Dancing On The Ceiling"? I did my first strip tease to that!

Lionel: Hello? Is it me you're looking for?



Stacy: Oh my freaking GAWD, this song never ends! It's like my storyline!

Lionel: Cause I wonder where you are.



Stacy: (sticks fingers in her ears) La La La La.

Lionel:And I wonder what you do.



Stacy: Can you get me Nicole's autograph?

Lionel: Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?

Stacy: What about Paris?

Lionel: Tell me how to win your heart.



Stacy: A Frederick's of Hollywood shopping spree?

Lionel: For I haven't got a clue.

Stacy: Introducing Cap'n Obvious!

Lionel: But let me start by saying ... I love you

Stacy: Douchebag!