Last Week's B&B: Donna Gets Gunked

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Nick continued his tirade against Jackie and Owen, calling his mother out for not signing a pre-nup. It fell on deaf ears, thank goodness. Jackie and Owen are the only fun couple this show has going right now, and Owen telling Nick to “call him Dad” was the slapdown old misery guts needed. Jackie telling Nick how Owen brought “unpredictability” to her life was sweet, especially when she put the boot in, saying Bridget brought him “predictability”. How true. Those two were sending me to sleep yet again. Even in one of their supposedly passionate love scenes, Nick was wittering on about Owen when he had his face all up in Bridget’s bozongas.

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So, what was I saying about Owen?

Felicia and Thorne officially handed in their resignations to Eric. I wonder if the writers are taking a pop at the characters – every time they make their mandatory two minute appearance one of them says, “we’ve been in the background for too long.”

Brooke didn’t quit, but took a leave of absence from Forrester Creations. It was just too painful being around Ridge. I hear ya, Brooke, I hear ya.

Despite handing him over to Taylor the previous week, Brooke back-tracked and told Stephanie that she and Ridge “would never be over.”

Eric persuaded Ridge to stop Brooke from leaving the company, but Ridge failed. The exes had a moment and both were almost blubbering when Brooke said, “this is goodbye.” Talk about dragging it out. Just leave the doofus.

Stephanie was trying to pump Taylor for the details on her night with Ridge: “So, what were the sleeping arrangements?” Ew, she is sick. Next she will be asking Taylor to record it and send her a copy.

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Am I the best lover you've ever had, Doc?

Steffy and Thomas arranged a romantic meal for Taylor and Ridge, AKA the Corpse Bride and the Crypt Keeper. They chowed down on some zombie flesh... okay, I lie, it was take-out from a French restaurant. They bonded some more and talked about dead, but not forgotten, feeble Phoebe. They had a little dance and she told him to "come home", then they tongued each other.

Brooke looked at pictures of Ridge and snivelled.

Stephanie told Eric he should step down at Forrester and let Ridge and Taylor restore “a sense of dignity”. At least that gave me a laugh.

At the Forrester fashion show, Bill flirted with both Katie and Donna.

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Victoria and Brad! Hubba hubba.

Pam ordered ten gallons of honey, which seemed a little excessive. At the Forrester Creations show we discovered her dastardly, Carrie-esque plot. She dumped a bucketful of honey onto Donna as she was modelling the showstopper, and then gold glitter fell and stuck to the honey. She looked a state, but stood there sheepish and grinning like the dimwit she is.

And this is the most watched daytime drama in the world? Lord, help us all.