Okay, so y'all know how I do it. One horse can't stop the Kentucky Derby! Since Eric Braeden and The Young and the Restless are both digging in their heels, what about Dynasty and All My Children veteran Michael Nader as Victor Newman?
I know Nader had a few, um "issues" a couple of years back, but hell, if Whitney Houston could finally realize crack really is whack, there's help for anybody. Erica Kane's best love interest ever was on Cold Case the other night and from the looks of things, he can still bring it. I say give him a chance at playing The Mustache, at least until Braeden and Y&R get their ish together. I also wouldn't mind Jed Allan as Victor... (Jamey ducks from tomatoes thrown by GH fans who are still smarting over my beloved C.C. Capwell's stint as Jed-ward on GH).
Meanwhile, snagging Braeden as a new uber villiain on General Hospital would be the GET of the century for Fronsie! Why not bring the superstar on as Mikkos Cassadine? The soap is already planning to bring that family back to the forefront. Can you imagine Braeden going ego-to-ego with Tony Geary? Maybe, just maybe, GH could bring back Genie Francis (ex-Laura), at the same time, having the megalomaniac kidnap Luke's angel? This twist could result in a nice, splashy location shoot to Greece, where Luke, Lucky (Greg Vaughan), Scotty (Kin Shriner), Tracy (Jane Elliot) and Nikolas (Tyler Christopher) all head to save Port Charles' fave blonde! If GH cut Jill Farren Phelp's annual CGI budget in half they could make it happen.
Lulu (Julie Marie Berman) would of course defy her dad and brothers' orders and follow the rescue team to Greece, resulting in Dante (Dominic Zamprogna) going along to protect her, causing several steamy scenes on foreign soil promoting the new couple. Liz (Rebecca Herbst) and Rebecca (Natalia Livingston) would also tag along to help Laura's boys, with one of them returning from Greece in a body bag. Can you guess which one I would want Mikkos to sacrifice on Mt. Cassadine? Here's a hint: She's the one who isn't Jason's baby mama!
Meanwhile, Helena (Constance Towers) could kidnap her three step-granddaughters— Sam (Kelly Monaco), Persephone and Aphrodite— to Greece as well. Helena would use them to barter for Mikkos' affections like the mythological Hera squaring off against Zeus!
Athena, er Alexis (Nancy Lee Grahn), Sonny (Maurice Benard), Jason (Steve Burton) and Michael (Drew Garrett) would all then head overseas to rescue Lexie's girls in a battle of epic poem proportions! (Damn those Cliff Notes of The Odyssey are still coming in handy after all these years!) Maybe Burton will even ride in on a Trojan horse? He will need plenty of those now that he's back with Sam. Double wrap my friend, double wrap.
In Greece, The Fates (as played by Lindze Letherman, Tamara Braun and Vanessa Marcil) would lead Liz and Jason to cross paths. However, just as the torn asunder lovers are looking into one another's eyes—causing my screen to melt from the heat— they find themselves ambushed by Cassadine henchmen!
Realizing this could be their last moments together on Earth, the starcrossed duo makes sweet, sweet, sweet love in the Grecian dungeon where they are being held captive. The scenes would be set to a song especially written and recorded for Liason by The Fray, John Mayer,Christina Aguilera and Myself, called "Finally Forever", as Helena cruelly forces Sam to watch each and every one of their explosive, orgasmic close-ups on a video monitor!
Luke and Laura manage to rescue Liz and Jason just before the last, Friday commercial break for Depends and the new Dancing With The Stars. Jason is so overcome with joy he declares his love for Liz and tells her he plans to leave the mob once they return home so he can be with her and lil' Jakey.
Meanwhile, something in Sam breaks irrevocably after finally seeing that Jason just isn't that into her. (If you are wondering how such a magical plot twist could occur, well duh, Athena-Alexis has turned Brian Frons into a spider, rendering him helpless to dictate story. Read your ancient myths!) Sam becomes Helena's willing pawn (and finally an interesting character), vowing to help Bad Granny destroy Port Charles once and for all! GH hits a 3.5 in the ratings and lands Monaco, Burton and Herbst on the cover of Newsweek! Sigh, a boy can dream, can't he?