This Week in Daytime: Cliffhangers and Red Herrings

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This Week in Daytime,

I cheered The Bold and the Beautiful for the best Friday cliffhanger I’ve seen in a very long time. Jamey thinks it's all a giant red herring, but hypothetically speaking, if Oliver (Zack Conroy) and Brooke (Katherine Kelly Lang) did have sex I want to know how Oliver couldn’t tell the difference between a dusty muffin like Brooke and fresh cupcake like Hope (Kimberly Matula)? I haven’t wanted to tune in for a Monday episode of B&B this much in years. (Editor's Note: Brooke Logan's muffin is the freshest, warmest, tightest muffin around and that boy would be eternally blessed even to partake in one, delicious crumb you MOTHER $%*#$#! Team Logan-4-Life!)

I smiled at Bo (Robert Woods) and Nora’s (Hillary B. Smith) wedding day woes on One Life to Live. Yes, the premise was simple and one we’ve seen before, but it also made me laugh and heaven knows this show needs some good laughs.

I looked more closely at EJ (James Scott) and Arianna (Lindsay Hartley) on Days of our Lives. These two have great chemistry and I wouldn’t mind seeing something  develop between them. We’ve watched Arianna roll a mean neck facing off against Nicole (Arianne Zucker), but opposite Alison Sweeney’s Sami poor Arianna would need a permanent appointment with a chiropractor.

I cherished the Helen Wagner scenes on As the World Turns. Her scenes with Casey (Billy Magnussen) and Alison (Marnie Schulenberg) reminded me of when I was a new ATWT viewer and she was giving wise advice to Simon (Paul Leyden) and Katie (Terri Colombino). We miss you.

I groaned watching The Young and the Restless this week. It needs to be renamed The Dumb and the Dialogue-less. There is no excuse for the leaden exchanges in the post-Billy (Billy Miller) and Victoria (Amelia Heinle) "wedding" reveal scenes and the 1 + 1 = 4  scenes at the Newman ranch. Combined with the oppressive listessnesses that permeates the wombat surrogate storyline, Y&R was almost unbearable to watch this past week. Thank goodness for Marcy Rylan’sAbby Newman and Emily O’Brien’snuanced subtlety as Jana, otherwise I would have wanted to delete the entire week after Monday's show alone.

I thanked my lucky stars for three excellent couples on All My Children, JR (Jacob Young) and Annie (Melissa Claire Egan), David (Vincent Irizarry) and Greenlee (Rebecca Budig) and Jake (Ricky Paull Goldin) and Amanda (Chrishell Stause). You wouldn’t think it would be that hard to come up with three couples per soap that you really care about and root for, but I've discovered in recent years it’s more difficult than one might think.

I realized I’m over DAYS' Carly Manning (Crystal Chappell). My distaste for good girls is well documented, but it is impossible for me to enjoy a character that is constantly being written as the ever-persecuted victim of someone else’s schemes. She would fit in perfectly among AMC's Martin family. Seriously, what fun is it watching favorites such as Vivian (Louise Sorel), Chloe (Nadia Bjorlin) and Hope (Kristian Alfonso) all target "poor, put upon" Carly all of the time? All this storyline is doing is making Vivian look like a cartoon, Hope a maniac, Chloe a dope and Carly a martyr.

Bo (Peter Reckell) and Hope’s marriage was already on the rocks before Carly returned to Salem, so Carly isn’t really to blame for Hope’s night and day personality shifts. As for Chloe, the Carly Factor has turned her into a warbling idiot. You know in the first Shrek movie when Fiona is running through the forest singing and the cute little blue bird explodes trying to sing as high as Fiona does? This week I imagined Chloe, in that blue dress, exploding from the pressure Carly’s presence has put on her. I can just see it now. KABOOM!

I applaudedLexi Ainsworth and Maurice Benard for their acting in the counseling scenes on GH. It was so good to see Kristina hit home the point that there are other types of abuse besides physical abuse and watch Sonny’s reaction. Good job to both.

I wishedLesli Kay’s return to ATWT wasn’t being wasted on this storyline. I enjoy Molly and Holden (Jon Hensley), while recognizing that Holden and Lily (Noelle Beck) are the end game, but come on ATWT! Time is too short to be wasting on this type of storyline.

I pinpointed why I’ve had such mixed emotions about OLTL’s Gigi (Farah Fath) and Rex (John-Paul Lavoisier) over the past few years. They spend way too much time together in scenes by themselves. I enjoy both characters as a couple infinitely more when they are in scenes with other people. While on their hunt for Rex’s father I couldn’t stand them, but after their return to Llanview and began interacting with other characters, both individually and separately, I started enjoying them again.

My Totally Subjective Soap Ranking for the Week

1. General Hospital

2. Days of Our Lives

3. The Bold and the Beautiful

4. All My Children

5. One Life to Live

6. As the World Turns

7. The Young and the Restless