MUST SEE WEB TV: Empire’s Sandra Haven Traps Some Heffa in a Closet

Okay, I will readily admit I haven’t exactly been crazy about wacky, web soap Empire, which is why I haven’t been blogging about the show’s second season much, even though it features two of my fave Guiding Light alums, Tina Sloane and Orlagh Cassidy. That all changed this morning, thanks to some crazy heffa named Sandra Haven!

I woke up like a shot at 6 am, and couldn’t go back to sleep (Is this what your 30’s feels like?), so I decided to watch the latest episode of Greg Turner and Brian Hewson serial about an incestuous publishing family, who likes to have really, really dramatic conversations with one another about things they all already know. Show, don’t tell be damned.

We Love SoapsRoger Newcomb has been telling me I should give the show a second chance for awhile now. Thank the Soap Gods I did, because if I hadn’t, I never would have witnessed the amazingly-fabulicious Sandra Haven tormenting her husband’s bastard daughter in a walk-in-closet, with a two-way mirror— hilariously soaptastic!

Kathryn Neville Browne, who plays Sandra, should get one of those Special Guest Star billings that Heather Locklear had on Melrose Place 1.0. Okay, if you’ll excuse me, I have a whole lot of Empire to catch up on!

4 Responses

  1. Profile photo of alstonboy4315

    Hilariously campy!!! This is so good it’s bad, and so bad it’s good…….

    ” I locked that whore away”……………Can’t beat that.

    “She did (bleep) my husband. She had to pay the price.”

    Bree Van de Kamp, eat your heart out.

  2. Profile photo of myworld

    I must be honest I did not really like Empire, but since Jamey informed me about this latest development I watched all the eppys.

    It is cool.

    This lets me know one thing. I have to bring it back to GL.

    If the stories had been really good like they were when Phillip shot up the funeral home then GL could have been great.

    I like Sandra. I love Theodora. Tina is doing really good.

  3. Profile photo of giftofamber

    Jamey, I’ve been watching every single week, waiting for the eps to show up just after midnight on Monday night/Tuesday am. I don’t understand how you’re so far behind!

    Orlagh Cassidy and Tina Sloan for one thing. Then there’s the ‘Katherine is really Mr. Haven’s daughter’ storyline, which is good b/c Katherine/Sandra are just hot together, and I’d feel weird shipping them if Katherine was Sandra’s daughter too.

    Empire has campy drama, generational stories, and gay romance. Only thing it’s missing is lesbians, but at least it has an actress who played a lesbian (Orlagh Cassidy), so that counts on some level, right?

  4. Profile photo of soapguy99

    i’m not sure about this…

    they get alot of hype and press… but i’m not loving empire. i agree that they talk about things more than actually do things.

    sandra haven is a fun character though.

    i think this show is hurt by its big name stars. the acting and the writing aren’t worthy of tina and orlagh. they are fine actresses, but seem out of place on the canvas.

    welovesoaps is kinda obsessed with it. they had a whole week devouted to it and it was weird.

    that being said, i’ve watched every episode to date… so i must keep coming back for something.

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