HomeTagsCaption ThisCaption This: Phone Calls From Sharon Newman Luke Kerr May 24, 2012 27 Comments Take your best Caption This shot at this scene from Sharon (Sharon Case) on The Young and the Restless! 27 Responses soapjunkie88 May 24, 2012 “Frank Valentini? It’s Sharon Case. I wanted to check if you and Ron would consider bringing Dawn Winthrop back from the dead. I need to get out of here…” Log in to Reply soapbaby May 24, 2012 Miss Cleo? I know you tell the future but I need to know about my past! What I do in my past life to deserve my current situation?! Log in to Reply soapbaby May 24, 2012 Hello. Is this the department of public health? Can you catch old from sleeping with an old man? I think i see a liver spot coming in. Hello? Are you there? Log in to Reply Trish8148 May 24, 2012 ” Brad listern, all the rumors about a long lost Logan sister true?” Log in to Reply mannym716 May 24, 2012 Hi Shar-Shar, it’s MAB’s! Listen I know you’re on set right now and about to shoot. I wanted to let you know I’m writing a story for Sharon where she’s going to make a choice that’s going to REALLY empower her! Log in to Reply MsAgentProvocateur1 May 24, 2012 (to her agent) Sharon: Well…um, couldn’t you arrange for my character to maybe…um, have some time off to go to…(pauses) I don’t care, send her to the nut farm, get her some psychiatric help, for God’s sakes. I don’t care. I just need some time off to go on some- (looks around to make sure nobody is watching. Whispers) Sharon: Auditions. (Pause) I swear, if I have to kiss that old fool one more time I’m gonna gag. I heard he left a spit string in Genie’s mouth a mile long. She’s still wiping her mouth with Purell. I can’t let that happen to me. (Listen) Sharon Collins Newman Abott Newman Newman may be a doormat…mattress, whatever but I’m not (anger rising), if you don’t move on this one, I swear to God, I’ll find another agent faster than you can say ‘You got that!’ (Sharon hangs up the phone) Log in to Reply richalan67 May 24, 2012 Hi Walgreen’s, my father-in-law- surrogate father-boyfriend wants to know if his Viagra is ready for pick up. Log in to Reply Traysoblue May 24, 2012 Laura Wright, hey girl it’s Sharon Cassie. You remember how you jump ship from Guiding Light before it sunk….can you teach me how you did it. I rather have love scene with hot guys in Port Chuck than my grandpa here in Genoe City. Log in to Reply pjc722 May 24, 2012 “Hi, Cassie, it’s mommy. I’ve made a lot of stupid mistakes in my life from giving you up, to running away, to sleeping with Jack, NIck, Adam, Brad, Billy, and a slew of other men that screwed up my life, but I have to say I think this new guy is the one to change all that. Seriously, Cassie, I hate it when you laugh at mommy, especially since you’re in heaven! Not nice. No. Seriously, he’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a man. Rich. Old. Abusive beyond belief when I don’t do as he says. He’s always been there for me, too. Like when he tried to set up his own son for murder and I tried to prove it and saw the presumed “victim” die in a burning volcano while he stood behind a tree doing nothing and could prove that I didn’t kill her. He visited in prison so many times. He’s nice.” Oh, who is he? He’s your granddaddy. Victor. Honey, I told you mommy doesn’t like it when you laugh at her, especially since you’re in heaven! Wait, is everyone laughing at me up there? Is that John Abbott laughing? I hear Brad and Colleen in the background, too, are they laughing at me? Is that Diane Jenkins laughing, too? I thought she was downstairs? Wait, is that Bill Bell laughing at me, as well??!!! Oh, he’s laughing at the entire mess his dumb daughter in law has made of his legacy. Log in to Reply stefanstavros May 24, 2012 Sharon to MAB: Sooo let me get this straight. I’m gonna get dumped by Victor and then move into a front-burner love triangle with Murphy and Katherine!!!???!!! Log in to Reply stoney07 May 24, 2012 “Kay Alden? Hey girl…I mean, i know you are at B&B right now, but it doesn’t take cowriters to copy and paste the Liam/Hope dialogue every day. Look, I need you back here. Come across the hall and help us out. Right now Maria has me at a romantic dinner with Victor. YES girl!! I couldn’t believe it either. This chick has lost her mind! Bring Mr. Smith with you, and yall come on back over and write a story that makes sense. Huh?? Who cares what Maria thinks?” Kay- Well Sharon, I’m currently on contract here at B&B and- Sharon- Girl please. It’s a 30 minute show. Take out commercials, its about 20 minutes. Take out the repetitive dialogue between the same two or three characters, it’s 2 minutes. You can stay on contract and be headwriter here too. Kay- You tried it biotch Sharon- I’m just sayin’….we are DESPERATE Kay!! I think Maria got plans of me having a Victor spawn for November Sweeps. I can’t take it. I don’t know how much longer I can do this. We just celebrated Cassie’s death, which you all crafted so beautifully. On the headstone it said she died in 2005. Me and Joshua didn’t officially divorce on the show until after that…yet his character and Michelle’s character are about to have a teenage daughter. Kay- What? Wow…I didn’t know it was that bad. Sharon- It’s worse!! Poor Wilson Bethel has been locked in the closet at Billy and Victoria’s house for like a year now!!! I hope he isn’t dead. There’s been no explanation of if he got out or not…*shrug* I don’t get it. Kay- Well, why don’t you talk to Jess? I mean, she’s like the only original character left, and- Sharon- WHO? Kay- Uh oh… Sharon- And don’t get me started on Miss Sophia. Daisy…I remember Y&R having the best actresses…not…well, nothing against Julia and Yvonne, but good Science… Kay- Okay, okay. Just sit tight, I’ll be over there in just a minute Sharon. Let me print out last year’s scripts for Hope and Liam and I’ll be right there… Log in to Reply david46208 May 24, 2012 @stoney07 and MsAgentProvocateur1: Both were funny. Log in to Reply mrspopeye1 May 24, 2012 To Doris- Hey Mom…. I know I don’t call much but I have a question. “What does it mean to have “daddy issues” and why does everone keep telling me I have them?” To Katherine- “What is up with that old man smell and how do you get rid of it? Can Esther help?” Talking to Faith, crying after being teased at preschool ” All the kids made fun of me and said you could end up being my momma or stepgrandma and all the other normal kids are raised by nannies, or go to boarding school, just have divorced parents or two moms. Why can’t I have a normal family like them?” To Brooke Logan…”Running out of ideas here, who should I do next? So, how’s the weather in California?” Noah: “I though I left all the weird stuff behind in NYC. But after living there, I can handle anything you froot loops throw at me.” To Bonnie the housekeeper: ” I’ve got a little blue pill I want you to crush up and put in Victor’s dinner. Just between me and you.” Log in to Reply Ken May 24, 2012 Hi! I want to make sure I have the right phone number. Am I speaking to the Matt Miller that is the brother of Victor Newman? Okay great…then I do have the correct Matt Miller! I just wanted to let you know that you’re up next! Oh…one more thing…do YOU have any sons? Log in to Reply Ryan-Scott May 24, 2012 (Doris on the other line checking Sharon like a piece of homework) I know Mom. I know Mom. I know Mom. Yes, I know that too Mom. Log in to Reply david46208 May 24, 2012 Sharon – Hey Agnes Nixon. You created All My Children and One Life To Live. And I’ve read rave reviews about your writing from Debbie Morgan, Darnell Williams, Peter Bergman and Melissa Claire Egan. (Pauses to listen) Yeah they are all fine. (Pauses to listen again) Well, the reason for my call was that I just got through reading a rare edition of the All My Children Scrapbook, looked at your History on Wikipedia and I thought you would be a perfect fit as a headwriter for The Young and The Restless. (Pauses) Ye…Yes there may be an opening soon and since you were good friends with Bill Bell I figured that as favor to his memory that you could come in and turn this show around… Because next week (sighs) they got me sleeping with Sapato. (Pauses) Yep, and then I read in the script that I am supposed to have a love triangle between Sapato and the horse in the Newman stables. (Pauses) So if you could please write up one of those long story bible thingy’s and submit it to Sony… On behalf of the entire cast we’d appreciate it and talk you up at every turn. Log in to Reply thebookerman May 24, 2012 Maria Arena Bell (on phone): We know you’re with Victor now, but we think we can get even OLDER with your next partner. Sharon: Oh, God, don’t tell me it’s Katherine! Log in to Reply Ken May 24, 2012 Hey Brooke, it’s Sharon. I’m callin’ cause I need some tips from the master. Girl, I done been through almost the whole clan and the only blood Newman left in town that’s of legal age is Victoria! Should I go there? I know Eric and Stephanie had some daughters and stuff…what did you do? Should I get all Sapphic with it or just wait until next month when Reed comes to visit and he’s 18 and buff? Log in to Reply Steph Foster May 25, 2012 Hi operator? Can you get me the number of one of the men in Genoa City I HAVEN’T slept with yet? Log in to Reply mikelyons May 25, 2012 “Family rates? Sure! Bring your pa! It’s an extra $5,000.00 an hour. Is that okay?” Log in to Reply Steph Foster May 25, 2012 “Hey Mr. Telemarketer, what are you wearing?” Log in to Reply Pix924 May 25, 2012 “Grace, it’s Sharon. I need your help. Yeah, I know, screw it. Him? Where’ve you been, he’s married to that nut job Red. Got a teenage girl. Just like her mother. Anyway, that’s not why you called… Oh, right. I called you. I remember. Who, oh Victor now. Last week. No I don’t think so. He’s, well you know…old. Really old, not soras old. Who, Larry. Really? I thought you’d hook up with him. Oh that’s too bad, I always though he was great in…considering how Jill went on and on about… Oh, small? Oh, too big?. Wide? Oh well, you have to know what to do with it. Boring? Oh well – I just had an idea, I think I can help you out. Is Larry there now? He is? Good, I don’t care if he’s drunk. Put him on. Larry, it’s Sharon. Yeah. Long time. I know. You know you said you’d take me out for a ride again sometime? Well, you did. And I need a ride. You still have that big Harley, right? I just need a ride. Aw you remembered, Yes, it’s been (counts on her hands) seven years …she was my heart. Like it was yesterday…. Anyway …how soon can you sober up and come out here? Tomorrow’s fine, I just have some loose ends I’ll be tying up tonight, never mind who. Sure I can cover your gas money. I’ll tell you later. Get some sleep, man. Oh, nowhere…tell you the truth I don’t care, I just have to get out of here for a while. Like last time. Oh evicted, again, you just have no luck, man. …Grace, sure you can bring her with you but she’s not coming with us….I’m sure she can amuse herself. She’s good at that. She can stay at my place. Noah. Oh he’s all grown up, he can take care of himself. It’ll be fine. Okay, Larry – see you when you get. Meet me at Jimmy’s. You can’t miss it, your kind of place. Sure Grace has the number. Yeah. Take care, drive safe.” Log in to Reply sallyv May 25, 2012 “I have an STD? Again?” Log in to Reply SoapArmageddon May 25, 2012 “Really old, not soras old…” Love this. Log in to Reply MsAgentProvocateur1 May 25, 2012 Ha! Pix that’s a good one. Sharon does need a ride outta town for awhile. The madness has to stop. Log in to Reply mrspopeye1 May 25, 2012 To Bonnie the housekeeper: “Why are there adult diapers in the master bath?” Log in to Reply DarthChancellor May 26, 2012 Is this the STD clinic??? My coslopus is a burning and aflame…when can I get an appointment???? Log in to Reply Leave a Reply Cancel Reply You must be logged in to post a comment.