15 Soap Opera Characters Who Must Be Like Sexual Napalm in The Sack!



 

What is it about certain soap characters that make everyone in their respective fictional towns pitch tents in their trousers, and/or leave unfortunate puddles on their leather office furnishings? While soaps are filled with awesome lovers, we've decided to count down 15 soapers who must have Kryponite between their legs, because they tend to make much too many sane and seemly people go weak in the knees and in the head! 
 


 

No. 15: Liam Spencer, The Bold and the Beautiful


Liam Spencer (Scott Clifton) has had stepsisters Hope Logan (Kimberly Matula) and Steffy Forrester (Jacqueline MacInnes Wood) fighting over it for well over a year now. Is the publishing heir working with something serious downstairs, and if so, how do the ladies know about it, since all they ever do with Liam is a lot of heavy-petting? Maybe he's just really good with his hands?  

 

35 Responses

  1. Avatar of soapbaby
    soapbaby

    Nice list. I like you included Gary Ewing from Knots Landing! I think I would have included Y&R’s Nicholas Newman, Brad Carlton and All My Children’s Erica Kane!

  2. Avatar of SoapGod
    SoapGod

    Ummm, Nicholas Newman? The intensity in which Sharon and Phyllis have fought over him is ridiculous. Add in Grace’s machinations to get his swivel stick, Avery’s current steamy fantasies (fantasies based on reality since she has slept with him), and Diane Jenkens’ descent into crazy (seriously, it was after she slept with Nick and lost him that she started to go Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs), and I think you have a good case that Nick’s d*** has magical powers.

  3. Avatar of Richard
    Richard

    Erica Kane definitely should have been on this list. I’m glad Gary Ewing was on here too. He Lisa Hartman twice (she played two different characters) and Donna Mills! Lucky guy!

  4. Avatar of Ken
    Ken

    With Victor Newman on here, I’m suprised you missed including his son Vic Junior! In less than four short years, Adam has proven that the studly apple doesn’t fall far from the tree! Upon arriving in town, Adam first had Heather wanting to do the horizontal mambo with him every chance she got! Next he had Rafe “backin’ that thang up” despite the fact Rafe knew Heather professionally…and Rafe knew Adam was still making Heather’s eyes roll back in her head on alternating weekdays with him. Even after Heather found out that Adam and Rafe were getting all Leviticus with it, and she kicked him to the curb for Chance and later Ronan, she still wanted that Newman Nookie. A couple year’s later she blamed it on the booze but still had to take a ride on Adam’s disco stick one more time before leaving! Town wasn’t the only thing she had to blow!
    Next up was Sky. Her memories of Adam from her college days were so strong it caused to her to move to podunk no-wheres-ville Genoa City to resume making the beast with two backs with him. Girlfriend was so hot for what he got that she even faked her own death at his bidding!
    Enter Sharon: When it comes to Adam, she drops her panties like they’re hot…because THEY ARE! Though she sometimes still proclaimed love for his dumb brother Nick, she always went back for more of Adam’s Rib…or maybe it was another one of his bones! Even when she discovered Adam stole her rugrat that still didn’t stop her cootchie-snorcher from getting wet at the mention of his name. Hell, to this day Sharon still looks at Adam like a hobo eyeing a pork chop sandwich….and doesn’t even care that another heiffer has put a ring on it! Speaking of Chelsea, she mooned over Adam like a 15-year-old school girl from the minute she saw his spiky-little head at the Athletic Club. Once he took her upstairs and showed her the spike his other head could make, she wanted to get that GED and MRS. as fast as possible and didn’t care if she had to join him in being the town pariah!
    All this in less than four years and who knows what the future holds? When it comes to Adam Newman, whether one loves him or hates him, they all tend to agree that homeboys’s milkshake brings all the girls AND boys to the yard!

  5. Avatar of twb6yz
    twb6yz

    Sharon Newman (at least to Newman men)

    Brooke Logan (at least to Marone and Forrester Men)

    Sonny Corinthos (especially to lawyers)

    Reva Shane (at least to Lewis men, plus every man she was with still wanted her after they broke up)

    Marlena Evans (does her mewing even have the power to turn Jamey Giddens?)

  6. Avatar of david46208
    david46208

    @Jamey Giddens: How could you not have Erica Kane on the lists? And she could only be #1. Look at her list of romances:

    1. Charles “Chuck” Tyler III
    2. Jason Maxwell
    3. Nick Davis
    4. Brandon Kingsley
    5. Jeff Martin
    6. Tom Cudahy
    7. Kent Bogart (deceased)
    9. Adam Chandler
    10. Mike Roy
    11. Jeremy Hunter
    12. Travis Montgomery
    13. Dimitri Marick
    14. Charlie Brent
    15. Jackson Montgomery
    16. Jonathan Kinder
    17. David Hayward
    18. Chris Stamp
    19. Samuel Woods
    20. Ryan Lavery
    21. Caleb Cortlandt

    Come on now Jamey. I think you need to amend this list to have the #1 Napalmer in daytime. In all of television for that fact!

  7. Avatar of Restless Vixen
    Restless Vixen

    [quote=Ken]
    Enter Sharon: When it comes to Adam, she drops her panties like they’re hot…because THEY ARE! Though she sometimes still proclaimed love for his dumb brother Nick, she always went back for more of Adam’s Rib…or maybe it was another one of his bones![/quote]
    Ken, FTW!
    Let’s not forget Phyllis was writhing like a fish out of water trying to put allure Adam, but he wasn’t having that shit! LOL!

    I have to agree. Adam and Sharon should be on this list. I know not everyone at DC is a fan of the writing for either character, but there’s no denying, especially for Sharon, everybody in GC wants some.

    Thank you Jamey for that naked pic of Alexander SkarsgĂ„rd. I think I nearly exploded the first time I saw that scene on True Blood. And I exhaled…*lustful exhale*

  8. Avatar of ER Writer
    ER Writer

    I wasn’t even thinking about Jason being number 1 I thought it was going to be Nick Newman or Susan Lucci. And Jamey, how could you not put your own BROOKE LOGAN on this list :) She’s only one Thomas short of nailing 3 generations of Forresters.

  9. Avatar of storm28
    storm28

    Jason being number one is a bit of a head scratcher to me but I guess with SBu leaving his fresh on everybody’s mind.
    I mean don’t get me wrong when woman fall for Jason they fall hard but when his standing next to Sonny who in the same amount of time has burned through two or three times more woman (all of which were as into him as Jason’s woman are with him) Jason doesn’t seem like much of a lothario.

  10. Avatar of kintex
    kintex

    I am surprised Erika Kane is missing from this list.

    [quote=Ken]With Victor Newman on here, I’m suprised you missed including his son Vic Junior! In less than four short years, Adam has proven that the studly apple doesn’t fall far from the tree! Upon arriving in town, Adam first had Heather wanting to do the horizontal mambo with him every chance she got! Next he had Rafe “backin’ that thang up” despite the fact Rafe knew Heather professionally…and Rafe knew Adam was still making Heather’s eyes roll back in her head on alternating weekdays with him. Even after Heather found out that Adam and Rafe were getting all Leviticus with it, and she kicked him to the curb for Chance and later Ronan, she still wanted that Newman Nookie. A couple year’s later she blamed it on the booze but still had to take a ride on Adam’s disco stick one more time before leaving! Town wasn’t the only thing she had to blow!
    Next up was Sky. Her memories of Adam from her college days were so strong it caused to her to move to podunk no-wheres-ville Genoa City to resume making the beast with two backs with him. Girlfriend was so hot for what he got that she even faked her own death at his bidding!
    Enter Sharon: When it comes to Adam, she drops her panties like they’re hot…because THEY ARE! Though she sometimes still proclaimed love for his dumb brother Nick, she always went back for more of Adam’s Rib…or maybe it was another one of his bones! Even when she discovered Adam stole her rugrat that still didn’t stop her cootchie-snorcher from getting wet at the mention of his name. Hell, to this day Sharon still looks at Adam like a hobo eyeing a pork chop sandwich….and doesn’t even care that another heiffer has put a ring on it! Speaking of Chelsea, she mooned over Adam like a 15-year-old school girl from the minute she saw his spiky-little head at the Athletic Club. Once he took her upstairs and showed her the spike his other head could make, she wanted to get that GED and MRS. as fast as possible and didn’t care if she had to join him in being the town pariah!
    All this in less than four years and who knows what the future holds? When it comes to Adam Newman, whether one loves him or hates him, they all tend to agree that homeboys’s milkshake brings all the girls AND boys to the yard![/quote]

    :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:
    So true dont forget Diane Jenkins also tried to get a piece of Adam

  11. Avatar of ChrisGa
    ChrisGa

    Yeah, Nick Newman springs to mind instantly when I think of a character whose d— is pure gold. And I’d throw Sharon’s dumb ass right up there with him because her lady garden apparently produces that really special kind of fruit that has all the boys in the yard lining up.

  12. Avatar of blake3b
    blake3b

    Definitely missing:

    Reva Shayne from Guiding Light. She had all of the Lewis men, Josh was always wanting her even when they were married to other people. And she was with Richard, Buzz, Noah, Jeffrey, Kyle, Alan, etc.

    Josh Lewis from GL, because not only did he have Reva always wanting him back but he had his wives turn crazy and vindictive when they were going to lose him! Olivia did some bad things to keep him, but Annie and Sonni went bat sh*t crazy when they were losing him to Reva lol. Plus he had Reva’s sister Cassie go after him when he divorced Reva, and Harley jumped right on that not long after Reva was thought to be dead. And he had Tangie too.

    Nick Newman from Y&R for sure, I was shocked that he was not on here. He definitely has the golden d*** to have Phyllis and Sharon to fight over him for so many years. They are under his spell lol.

  13. Avatar of Yoryla
    Yoryla

    You should have definitely have one Phyllis Summers Newman on your list!

    What kind of magical powers she must have, for police officers/ FBI agents to risk their entire careers over her hoo-haa, is beyond me! Not to mention, of course, good-looking, intellectual business men such as Nicholas Newman and Jack Abbott. Ugh.

  14. Avatar of Ken
    Ken

    Well, I still think Adam Newman should be on the list, and after my comments it’s nice to see that kintex, dede261, and Restless Vixen agree with me…hopefully the silent majority do as well.
    I’m still convinced that for awhile there the Genoa City elected officials were sending Adam to lock up on a monthly basis like clockwork in order to keep the inmates happy and from erupting into full on riot mode! I’m sure the boys in the cellblock all welcomed him back each time with open arms…among open other things…in order to experience Adam’s own special version of the Jailhouse Rock! Who the hell wants early release when they’ve got Adam Newman showing up like a welfare check on the first of every month?
    As for the free population of GC, they may all publicly act like they want to give Adam the shaft, but secretly they’re hoping he’ll give it to them…if you know what I’m sayin’! Even in the “Who Wore It Best?” column feature in Restless Style, Phyllis and Billy had to admit that Adam rocked that purple dress better than Sabrina, Ashley, or Patty ever could! When the psychotic sometimes-blind dude in drag is getting more play than anyone else in town and has them all lining up for him like geeks at the latest Star Wars flick then you KNOW that ain’t just a loaf of French bread in homeboy’s basket! Adam’s philosphy regarding the citizens of GC is that they are all pretty much like a linoleum floor….lay ‘em right the first time and you can walk all over ‘em forever!

  15. Avatar of Jamey Giddens
    Jamey Giddens

    Your turgid prose makes me thinks you’re spending too much time with fifty shades of grey…
    ***
    Yet you just gave me a hit, that will help me buy even more books with turgid prose… Gracias!

  16. Avatar of Jamey Giddens
    Jamey Giddens

    @TvGord I would sell my first born child for the kind of money those Fifty Shades books are bringing in. I used to hate on them too, until I saw the author on Katie Couric, and it hit me. It’s so easy to sit in front a computer and diss each and every little thing that comes out, but she must be doing something right, to top the NYT’s Best Seller’s list all summer! ;-)

  17. Avatar of liason4real
    liason4real

    Oops. I forgot Blair Cramer had men coming out of the bushes.

    1) Asa Buchanan
    2) Max Holden
    3) Todd Manning #1
    4) Todd Manning aka Victor Lord Jr.
    5) Kevin Buchanan
    6) Cord Roberts
    7) Spencer Truman
    8) Elijah Clarke
    9) Tomas Delgado
    10) John McBain
    11) Patrick Thornhart
    12) Sam Rapport
    13) Cristian Vega
    14) Ross Rayburn

  18. Avatar of hey mon
    hey mon

    Red Summers Newman is not on the list? C’mon. Desk, dumpster, dead body… you name it, Red Newman will do it.

    All she has to do is get all steamy eyed, and men are willing to hop on board the Phyll-train. Ronan went from good cop to dirty for Red Newman. Michael has had tangle with those Red bones, back in a bondage session in the late 90s. Nick keeps on coming back for some Cougar Lovin when thinks of the things that Red can do to his body. Jack wont be limp for long with Red working back at New Enterprises and Jabot. Deacon had to have her by a dumpster, couldn’t wait for a bed.

    The only 2 who haven’t gone Red are Adam and Victor. They know better than to get tangled up in her snatchy schemes.

  19. Avatar of aveRex
    aveRex

    [quote=TV Gord]Addie Cramer. I’ll be she was a tiger in the sack![/quote]

    LOL!

    Addie rocked Cole Thornhart’s world, legs back in the sack!!! :p >)

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