21 Soap Opera Characters Solange Knowles Should Beat Up In An Elevator




Since Beyonce‘s little sister Solange Knowles has displayed quite the penchant for handing out ass-whuppings in elevators, we’ve decided to compile a list of the soap opera characters we’d love to see get a taste of what Jay-Z received at the recent Costume Institute Gala. Keep reading to find out who want to see get #Solanged!

No. 21 and No. 20: Michael Corinthos and Kiki Jerome, General Hospital

Could there be a more whiny pair of 20-somethings in fictional Port Charles, New York? Since sad sack Michael (Chad Duell) and his sour gal pal Kiki Jerome (Kristen Alderson) are always frowning anyway on General Hospital, why not let Solange give ‘em a reason to pout?

No. 19: Quinn Perkins, Scandal

Grumpy ex-Gladiator Quinn (Katie Lowes) has needed a good ass-kicking since Season 1 of ABC’s Scandal. You’d think Huck (Guillermo Diaz) torturing the idiot for going all B613 would be enough to get her in line, but no. She’s still pulling stunts—like finding Huck’s family without his knowledge or permission—that simply require her to spend a little one-on-one time with Solange.

— Jamey Giddens


Photos of Solange, Beyonce and Jay-Z by PR Photos

18 Responses

  1. Profile photo of Jon
    Jon

    Anyone heard any dirt on what got Solange so pissed? Believe me I was cheering when I saw the video. I think Jay-Z and Beyonce are the biggest overrated non-talents.

  2. Profile photo of ChrisGa
    ChrisGa

    Quinn Perkins from Scandal should be a lot higher on this list. A total idiot and one of the worst characters in primetime for three season running now. She really should’ve been killed off by now.

    And I couldn’t agree more regarding many of the others on the list, especially Abby Newman, a once-wonderful character now watered down by bad writing and an actress that lacks the charisma–romantic or otherwise–and screen presence to elevate said bad writing above mediocre. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Melissa Ordway, who I still believe is a better-than-decent actress, but she has yet to show she has the range to take shitty writing and make it work(something Emme Rylan did in spades under MAB). Now Abby’s just another blond, cardboard cipher that could be played by any random hair model.

  3. Profile photo of blake3b
    blake3b

    [quote=Jon]Anyone heard any dirt on what got Solange so pissed? Believe me I was cheering when I saw the video. I think Jay-Z and Beyonce are the biggest overrated non-talents.[/quote]

    You said it, I don’t get the hype about Beyonce and Jay Z. And Beyonce referred to as the new Tina Turner? Ugh.

  4. Profile photo of Mets82
    Mets82

    I have to put Abby Newman up there. Nothing against Melissa but the character has become too boring for me. I disagree about Kiki but agree with Micheal. Micheal always comes off like a goody-goody for me. Always does the right thing, tells other people to do the right thing etc. Dylan on Y&R is the same way. I think Luke should be on the list although Kiki already kicked him in the balls, so I think Solange could take him.

  5. Profile photo of Cornfed
    Cornfed

    [quote=ChrisGa](something Emme Rylan did in spades under MAB). Now Abby’s just another blond, cardboard cipher that could be played by any random hair model.[/quote]

    Funny, that’s how I see Rylan as Nulu on GH ;)

  6. Profile photo of Yoryla
    Yoryla

    Lololololololll! :D What an *awesome* list!

    First of all the Solange thing is great :D I mean, girlfriend kicks ASS! Literally, lol!

    And I found it so funny why Beyoncé was just standing there at first!

    Lol, as far as the list, I agree with everyone on the list, except Thomas Barrow! LOVE him!! And I hope he never goes away lol.

    From DAYS I would also give BIG ass whoopings to Jordan and Ben for being so damn BORING!!! These two definitely need a *fire* lit under their behinds and what better way to do that than a good ol *whooping* from Solange!!!

    Also, I would whoop JFP for destroying Y&R and everything else she’s ever touched, and RC for writing silly and stupid drivel and for being stupid and arrogant on social media! LOL!

  7. Profile photo of Dyllan
    Dyllan

    IMO, Marcy Rylan sucked on both Y&R and GH. MR as Abby was cartoonish and over-the-top. All she did was bug her eyes out. As nu-Lulu she just lacks the spark and characteristics of the prior actress.

  8. Profile photo of Secrets and Lies
    Secrets and Lies

    I would like to see Solange smack Cahhhhrrrrlos upside the head and kick him in the honey nut cheerios for the pain he is putting Sabrina through with his confession that he “killed A.J.” – it was heart-breaking Sabrina thinking her baby might die because Cahhhhhrrrrlos had sworn on the baby’s life.

    You know damn well if Jay-Z had pulled that ish on BeyBey, Solange would have stepped in and set J-Hova straight – faster than a surrogate mom can go through a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, a bag of chips, and a jar of pickles all while Beyonce be hittin’ the gym in a Kristen Blake rubber baby-belly.

  9. Profile photo of luverica
    luverica

    The SHAAADE of it all! Y’all gonna sick Smackdown Solange on my boy Michael QUATERMAIN but you won’t put Sonny Soprano-Light nor Victor ‘Mumbles’ Newman on the list. Talk about two heathens that did their ass whupped.

  10. Profile photo of Yoryla
    Yoryla

    [quote=Secrets and Lies]You know damn well if Jay-Z had pulled that ish on BeyBey, Solange would have stepped in and set J-Hova straight – faster than a surrogate mom can go through a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, a bag of chips, and a jar of pickles all while Beyonce be hittin’ the gym in a Kristen Blake rubber baby-belly.[/quote]

    Haaaaa! :D

  11. Profile photo of logan_echolls
    logan_echolls

    I love all of Jenna’s choices plus the choice of Franco.

    I so believe Solange has a problem with her temper. She is constantly going off on people. The way Bey was in the elevator shows this has happened before. And the fact Jay didn’t raise his hand to smack her one shows he knows all about her temper tantrums. In the video you could see Bey talking to Jay and he is moving his hands like “I don’t know”. And Bey stands in front of Jay when Solange tries to kick him. Nothing new for the Carters.

  12. Profile photo of thecourt99
    thecourt99

    This list is hilarious, however I don’t think the real tea will ever be spilled. The PR team is in overdrive shutting people up and threatening litigation, I am sure.

    So I am going to theorize, and personally, I think that Wendy Williams was the closest to the truth, especially once it came out that Rachel Roy was another target of Solange’s.

    I think all roads lead to Aaliyah when it comes to the Roc. She was one of the reasons why Hov and Dame broke up. They both loved her. Timbaland recently got divorced soon after an interview aired where he said he was first attracted to his wife because she looked like Aaliyah. I also believe that they passed Rachel between the two of them, so on some level Rachel is one of many old Hov jump offs. So I think this may have something to do with Jay and jump-offs.

    Side note, both Aaliyah and Toni Braxton fascinate me with their ability to mesmerize men to the point of distraction. Toni broke up Mint Condition, and she is also accused of breaking up the Dallas Mavericks (she was dating 2 players at the same time and the infighting messed up their on field play)..

    Man…talk about digressing…..

    and can I say how much I hate Kepner??? UGHHHHH

  13. Profile photo of Cornfed
    Cornfed

    [quote=Yoryla]Also, I would whoop JFP for destroying Y&R and everything else she’s ever touched, and RC for writing silly and stupid drivel and for being stupid and arrogant on social media! LOL![/quote]

    Ain’t gon’ happen, at least that last part; for some reason the press cuts CarToony a LOT of slack, when they really didn’t concerning Frons/JFP/Guza during their reign LOL

    Edited: Did you all catch the “Beygency” skit with the Spider Man Pan dude a couple weeks ago? Too funny.

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