Just Because You Fell Off The Wagon...

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Dear JR,

    I understand that it is a hard fall off the wagon but I believe there are certain things that should never be sacrificed. One of those things is personal hygiene. No matter how drunk you are and no matter how many times you are framed for running people over you should always make time to wash your hair. Even when you stoop so far as to have sex with a bobble-headed ex you need to Wash Your HAIR. I would much prefer a good hair cut and a new non-gigilo inspired wardrobe but at this point I will settle for clean hair and a close shave. 

Very truly yours,