No. 10: Cane and Lily - The Young and the Restless
It's a tried and true soap opera staple for two people who had their hearts smashed by their respective partners to end up hooking up on the rebound, but when soft touch Cane (Daniel Goddard) and uptight Lily (Christel Khalil) got together after their respective breakups from wild children Amber (Adrienne Frantz) and Daniel (Michael Graziadei), "Lane" a couple about as appealing as an evening of watching paint dry—in Peapack—was born. Luckily for Y&R fans, firecrackers like Billy (Billy Miller) and Chloe (Elizabeth Hendrickson) are around to keep things interesting.
No. 9: Josh and Cassie - Guiding Light
There are some lines that not even soap opera siblings should cross. Guiding Light crossed such a line when they penned the shark-jumping, vomit-inducing storyline that had Cassie—the beloved half sister Reva promised her dead mother Sarah she would find and reunite with her family— embarking on a relationship with Reva's soul mate Josh Lewis (Robert Newman), while Reva battled breast cancer no less. Yes this sucktastic storyline had it's origins in 2006 and sure, Cassie (Nicole Forester) and Josh (That's Josh-ua to you Princess Pole Twister!) didn't know Reva was sick at the time, but that didn't keep this storyline from making fans ill. No, this wasn't the first time the sisters had battled it out over a man—both wore the San Cristobellion tiara when respectively hitched to Prince Richard—but Reva's "Bud" should have been off limits. Cassie's penchant for hoeing herself around with such charmers as Cyrus (Murray Bartlett) and her unending obsession with her children (the dead one and the demon seed) didn't help matters. Thank the Soap Gods original Cassie Laura Wright had the good sense to jump ship to General Hospital rather than play out this turkey of a storyline. Poor Nicole Forester didn't know what she was getting herself into.
No. 8: Alison and Anyone - As the World Turns
For the life of Daytime Confidential, we cannot understand TPTB's fascination with Marnie Schulenburg's version of Alison Stewart on As The World Turns. Schulenburg is a talented actress, but the schizophrenic writing for Alison—she's a damaged meth head/internet porn star; she's a preachy shrew; she's a silly tease—and her lack of chemistry with basically all of the leading men she's been paired with on the soap (Grayson McCouch, Dylan Bruce,Agim Kaba, Billy Magnussen) have basically made the once viable Stewart daughter the soap opera equivalent of a wet blanket.
No. 7: Matt and Maxie - General Hospital
Why are Matt and Maxie (Jason Cook and Kirsten Storms) making the cut when they technically haven't been paired yet? We all know it's coming, as Brian Frons was most likely drooling at the thought of a Shelle reunion when Jason Cook signed on the dotted line. What Frons wasn't expecting was the fan response to Spixie (Spinelli and Maxie). Matt and Maxie are not, we repeat, not Days of Our Lives' Shawn D. and Belle Black, nor are Storms and Cook the same actors they were when the two last shared the screen in Salem. Cook needs time to settle in on the canvas as a Drake, while Storms should be allowed to keep on doing what she's been doing, which is making soap opera magic with Bradford Anderson (Spinelli).
No. 6: Taylor and Rick - The Bold and the Beautiful
We're sure this pairing looked good on paper. Brooke Logan (Katherine Kelly Lang)'s arch nemesis Dr. Taylor Hayes (Hunter Tylo) bedding down Brooke's son Rick (Kyle Lowder), but what translated on our screens was a forced, mechanical, plotty telenovela mess gone horribly wrong. The only good thing about this storyline is that it ignited one nasty feud between Brooke's star-crossed lover Ridge (Ronn Moss) and her son and provided tons of footage for E!'s The Soup. RICK!
No. 5: Taylor and Jake - All My Children
On soaps lightening rarely strikes twice for extremely popular couples transplanted from one soap to another. All My Children's Taylor and Jake (Beth Ehlers and Ricky Paull Goldin) have been no exception. As Gus and Harley, one of Guiding Light's precious few supercouples during recent years, Goldin and Ehlers had chemistry to spare. It was no surprise that Brian Frons snapped them up. Unfortunately, almost from they moment ran into one another in Pine Valley the pairing has been forced down our throats, as opposed to being allowed to come together organically.Goldin's Jake has much more chemistry with Amanda (Chrishell Stause) while Ehlers as Taylor sticks out like a sore thumb and has only managed to achieve a slight chemical reaction with Frankie (Cornelius Smith Jr.). Our advice, stop trying to recreate "Gush" and let Jake and Taylor's chemistry with other characters develop naturally. If they would All My Children might be surprised by what they discover.
No. 4: Ryan and Annie - All My Children
How do you write for a couple almost no one likes? That's just it, you don't, well you shouldn't, but All My Children did all year long. Not a single one of Ryan (Cameron Mathison)'s romance have measured up to the beauty of Gillian (Esta TerBlanche) and Ryan, although for some Kendall (Alicia Minshew) and Ryan came close. Meanwhile, Ryan and Greenlee (Rebecca Budig) were a disaster from day one, and Annie (Melissa Claire Eagan) and Ryan are nothing more than a Ryan and Greenlee clone, with even worse writing (and trust us, Ryan and Greenlee had terrible writing). The best thing All My Children could do is send Annie and Aidan (Aiden Turner) off into the sunset and then figure out how to take Ryan back to his rogue roots.
No. 3: Nick and Melanie - Days of Our Lives
Who could blame Blake Berris (ex-Nick) if he ran screaming from daytime and never came back? After coming onto the Salem canvas such amazing potential and securing a sweet, fun Taming of the Snapping Turtle storyline that even made baby killer Chelsea (the equally brilliant Rachel Melvin) redeemable, Berris found himself stuck in the worst young adult love story in recent soap memory—yes even compared to Guiding Light's Rafe and Daisy— when he was paired with the utterly unwatchable Molly Burnett as Melanie. We're not sure what Burnett is attempting to accomplish in her scenes... or what we as fans have done to the Soap Gods to have to endure it. Nick deserved better. Berris deserved better and we the fans definitely deserved better. Godspeed Blake.
No. 2: Victor and Sabrina - The Young and the Restless
As if the French didn't hate us enough already, the dismal pairing of Victor (Eric Braeden) and Sabrina (Raya Meddine), which had the couple obsessively cooing at one another in French, certainly didn't help with international relations or our digestion. After watching Victor Newman experience life-changing love affairs with Nikki Reed (Melody Thomas Scott), Ashley Abbott (Eileen Davidson) and Hope Adams (Signy Coleman) it was a bit of a stretch to buy that Mon Cherie even rated among The Black Knight's great love affairs. Fortunately, Sabrina's death salvaged the entire situation by driving amazing story well into the future for daytime's most revitalized soap.
No. 1: Paul and Meg - As the World Turns
It should come as no surprise to loyal Daytime Confidential listeners and readers that As the World Turns' Paul and Meg (Roger Howarth and Marie Wilson ) are our No. 1 Worst Couple of 2008. Without question "Peg" has swallowed As the World Turns whole, spawning such the nickname "The Vortext of Suck". Like B&B's Taylor and Rick, on paper this couple should have been awesome. Meg is a wholesome, sweet Snyder, while Paul is the son of James Stenbeck and Barbara Ryan (Anthony Herrera and Colleen Zenk Pinter). Unfortunately, not even classic soap format— the good girl and the bad boy— or core family pedigree can save this pairing, or ATWT fans from the revolving door of coma inducing storylines ATWT spits out for this couple faster than a fully loaded baseball pitching machine.