I woke up this morning to the sound of my cell phone beeping furiously. I had numerous pretend texts from Catherine and Heather, the two breakout stars of Andrew Miller's hit You Tube sitcom Imaginary Bitches. I really think the success of the show has gone to their heads. Only a couple of bitches would wake someone up from his slumber at the butt crack of dawn on a nice paid holiday. What was the five-alarm emergency you might ask? The girls wanted me to wish their highly overrated co-star Eden Riegel a happy birthday. Sigh. Yeah, because that's so the top of New Year's Resolutions List!
In case you didn't realize, that scenery chewer Riegel is up against me for the 2009 TV Guide Canada Soap Opera Spirit Award for Oustanding Performer in a Podcast/Webisode/Soap-Related Series. Oh yeah, Luke, Tina and some other people are up for the award too, but let's face it, this is a Brooke vs. Erica battle between me and Riegel, and I am Erica Kane bitches!
I mean seriously, what did she do that was soooo special on Imaginary Bitches? Anyone can make someone laugh with a couple of quife jokes five minutes a week! Sheesh. I had to put up with Luke Kerr's segues all year long, and do you know I sometimes have night tremors set to the Daytime Confidential podcast theme remixed with Meatloaf's "I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Wont Do That)"?
I don't get to work with professionals like Greg Rikaart or Elizabeth Hendrickson. I'm stuck with hacks, and I don't get to sleep with the producer like Riegel does, so this award is all I have to look forward to in life! I'll be damned if I wait 19 times before Shemar Moore tells me I am finally getting my due! Sorry Riegel, this isn't your year sweetie, but... happy birthday just the same. Check out the pilot episode of Imaginary Bitches above. Then go to Imaginary Bitches.com and buy the first season on DVD. $.88 cents out of each sale goes to the fight against Proposition 8.