Well folks, I've been away, but after a seemingly endless B&B catch-up marathon, here I am to fill you in on last week's shenanigans on The Bold and the Beautiful. Pull up a Jackie M desk and let's get down to it.
Jackie and Owen began the week by giving Nick’s desk a work out. This was right after Nick had thrown a hissy fit about their relationship and stormed out like a petulant teenager. Owen and Jackie are rocking the show right now – they’re smokin’, funny and a little bit kinky. He'll be reenacting Maggie Gyllenhaal's scenes from Secretary next week.
When Nick wasn’t bitching about Owen being a conman, he too was testing out the Jackie M desks for durability. Of the two desk sex incidents, my vote goes to Jackie and Owen for being hotter than Nick and Bridget. As Jackie herself said: “how could I not want more?”
Weirdly, at dinner with Jackie, Owen suggested that they adopt a child. My own suggestion is that he adopt Nicky-boy - the look on the old sea dog's face would be priceless.
The whole Owen/Jackie/Bridget dynamic has been quite oddly written up to this point – one minute Jackie looks like she is taking advantage of Owen, the next he is loving the power-play and virtually begging her to be a dominatrix. I guess the writers have decided which way to go, and now it’s full steam ahead – a Nick/Bridget wedding is on the horizon (yet again) and Jackie/Owen have just shacked up. The potential Bridget/Owen pairing has been thrown under the bus, but I can’t say I care. Jackie and Owen are bringing it. The only fly in the ointment is Nick and his constant meddling. What is it with these forty-somethings interfering in their parents’ sex lives? Felicia is just as bad. Yuck.
Bill continued his machinations to gain control of Forrester Creations. Poor little Eye on Fashion reporter Jarrett was dragged into things. He reluctantly went undercover for Bill and discovered that Eric was employing illegal workers. Of course, Bill jumped on the information and hot-footed it over to FC to lay down the law to Eric: either sell me Forrester, or go to jail, Honey Bear. Eric refused to give up his precious Forrester, not even for “one billion dollars!” I really wanted Bill to put his little finger in his mouth and say “ONE BILLION DOLLARS!” a la Austin Powers. Alas...
Bill had other plans, namely an indecent proposal for Donna to spend the night with him. He'd then leave her old man and his company alone. Why does he want to give Dumbutt “the most incredible night of [her] life” anyway? She’s a skank whose meal ticket comes from popping Viagra into Eric’s mouth and rubbing honey over his wrinkled butt. I mean, really, Bill could set his sights a little higher. For refusing to give Bill a taste of her honey, Donna got an even lower offer for Eric to sign.
Unaware of Donna’s almost-liaison with Bill, Eric refused the latest offer. Bill promptly whipped something out and slapped it on Eric’s desk. It was the new Eye on Fashion front cover, featuring Eric behind bars. Just when it looked like it was over for Eric, Stephanie announced that she’d recorded Bill’s blackmail attempt and the company lawyers would be all over Bill like white on rice. Bill promised he was only just getting started.
The Sick (Steffy/Rick) show has been mercifully absent from our screens, but it reared its ugly incestuous head once more. Rick confided in Brooke that he wanted Steffy back. Brooke said she’d be there for him. Moments later, Ridge told Brooke they weren’t really married, and he took the opportunity to remind her how ecstatic he was Rick wasn’t in Steffy’s orbit anymore. Oh dear, thought Brooke, as Rick and Steffy showed up unannounced to declare their love. What was Brooke to do? Well, according to blustering, pompous Ridge, “tell them you FORBID it!” No, Brooke, go tell Ridge to take a hike back to the Corpse Bride. Then run for the hills, get away from that beast.
Closing question: how did Eric and Stephanie get to know the illegal workers? Did they meet them before unlawfully employing them? If someone else suggested the illegals work there, how on earth were Eric and Stephanie convinced? I don’t buy that the Stephmonster, in particular, would leave FC so vulnerable.
Did I say Jackie and Owen are hot?