Sam McCall's Top 10 Sisterly Tips for Surviving Port Charles


On today's episode of General Hospital Sam (Kelly Monaco) told Jason (Steve Burton) she'd talk to Kristina (Lexi Ainsworth) about her behavior, since Kristina is her sister. This inspired me to come up with "Sam McCall's Top 10 Sisterly Tips for Surviving Port Charles." I've only come up with ten, but I'm sure there are other tips Kristina will need to know if she wants to survive Port Charles. What other tips should Sam give her sister?


No. 10: Keep your legs closed, you never know what mobster might knock you up.

No. 9: If you kill someone pretend to be psycho or a butler. It worked for your mother and it could work for you.

No. 8: Go to college. A GED just doesn't cut it in this job market.

No. 7: If tempted to let someone kidnap the child of the man you love, don't. It will only come back to bite you in the ass.

No. 6: If you see a man coming towards you covered in tattoos, drop whatever you are doing and run in the other direction. More than likely he's an obsessive psycho.

No. 5: Don't sleep with brothers, it isn't worth the drama. It turns out men take these things personally.

No. 4: Spinelli is a true friend. Once you gain his trust he will do anything for you.

No. 3: Your father is notorious for his anger management problems. Avoid being in a room with him if he is angry. Especially if it contains anything that is glass or isn't bolted down.

No. 2: Have Jason teach you how to handle a gun. Someone may try to kidnap you and you'll need to be able to defend yourself. Oh wait, never mind, he'll just come to rescue you.

No. 1: Mother knows best. Alexis may be neurotic and drive you nuts, but she has your best interest at heart.