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This Week in Daytime

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This week in daytime,

I wondered if All My Children's Zach (Thorsten Kaye) and Kendall (Alicia Minshew) fans were steaming mad about their couple's onscreen reunion, of sorts. Not being a Zendall fan myself I expect it had to be more than a little bittersweet to see a favorite couple return, only to dissolve before our eyes like a hairball in a drain pipe attacked by Draino. My sympathies are with you Zendall fans.

I expected Daytime Confidential's Melodie to tell me she was stockpiling Nature's Valley Clusters, since there is a new commercial for the snack, featuring former Guiding Light star Murray Bartlett.

I jeered The Young and the Restless' Lauren Fenmore and her doppelganger. Don't get me wrong I love Tracey Bregman, I think she is a consummate actress and a super trooper to be playing this storyline, but Lauren and this doppelganger seem to have more in common with Clark Kent and Superman than the Lauren fans remember. The only difference between Clark Kent and his alter ego Superman is the glasses and spandex costume. The only difference between Lauren and her doppelganger is hooker red lipstick. Poor Tracey Bregman doesn't even get to wear spandex. AND you just know she'd ROCK a spandex costume.

I cheered the return of Kate Collins to All My Children as Janet From Another Planet. I say bring on the crazy!

I was comforted by the return of Erika Slezakto One Life to Live as Viki. Amidst the whirlpool of insanity that is the current state of OLTL, her return gave me a sense of calm, reassuring me that no matter how crazy things get everything will be alright now that she's back. Let's just hope she gets a good storyline.

I applaudedAs the World Turns' Carly (Maura West) for telling Jack (Michael Park) and Janet (Julie Pinson) off. LOVED it! This is the Carly fans want to see.

I loved Nicole (Arianne Zucker) vs. Arianna (Lindsay Hartley) on Days of our Lives and cannot wait to see how this rivalry continues to evolve now that it looks like they will be forced to work together. I'm just waiting for the day these two slug it out like Nicole and Sami (Alison Sweeney) did recently. For the first time in a very long time I actually have a reason to care about Brady (Eric Martsolf), thanks to these two characters.

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I wishedDrew Garrett, Scott Evans and Brett Claywell much success as their time on my TV wound to a close. I can’t wait to see where those three talented stars end up next.

I groaned as Beth (Robin Riker) on The Bold and the Beautiful belly flopped into the great pool. You just know those slutty Logan girls are going to blame Stephanie (Susan Flannery) for this, when her hands are clean.

I tried SOAPnet's "Which Chandler Are You?" quiz. Can you guess who I ended up as?

I laughed when As the World Turns' Luke (Van Hansis) opened the door in just his towel and Reid (Eric Sheffer Stevens) undressed him with his eyes before telling him to get his "butt in gear." [Insert your own joke here.]

I realized that with Days of our Lives' Will Horton now recast and Mia (Taylor Spreitler) a goner I won’t have an excuse to FF through Salem’s teen storyline. I can’t remember the last time I was able to say that.

I imagined what it would be like to see Eric Braeden on Dancing with the Stars. Odds of it happening are about as good as getting world peace, stopping global warming and All My Children getting a 10.0 in the ratings, but never say never. Either way, the idea made me grin.

I plotted ways for General Hospital to rewrite recent history and have Federal Prosecutor Claire Walsh (Dahlia Salem) as Patrick’s (Jason Thompson) college friend, instead of Dr. Lisa Niles (Brianna Brown). I can easily envision the hard-nosed Walsh as a viable threat to Scrubs, but I just don’t see it with Dr. Niles. Imagine it being Patrick’s old flame prosecuting Robin’s (Kimberly McCullough) precious Sonny. Now that would be good soap opera.

My Totally Subjective Soap Ranking for the Week of April 12 - 18

1. Days of our Lives

2. General Hospital

3. All My Children

4. As the World Turns

5. The Bold and the Beautiful

6. One Life to Live

7. The Young and the Restless

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