This Week in Daytime: Naked Heiresses and Starr X'd Disappointments


This Week in Daytime,

I roared with laughter at the great debut of Marcy Rylan as Abby “The Naked Heiress” Newman on The Young and the Restless. I’m not sure what happened to Abby being a Carlton, but things just got a whole lot more interesting in Genoa City. From the moment I heard she was joining Y&R, I knew Rylan would be fantastic—even though I haven’t forgiven All My Children for not snapping her up to recast Colby Chandler—and she did not disappoint. Ashley (Eileen Davidson) has never been one of my “must watch” Y&R characters, but now I can’t wait to see how Abby causes problems for both Ashley and Victor (Eric Braeden). I do not care what my fellow DC'ers say about my love for Marcy Rylan. I imagine a few of them are shaking their heads as they read this, but I to that I say THIS. (Editor's Note: The boy is right about something once a Leap Year, and it goes to his head! :p)

I was touched by As the World Turns’ tribute to Eileen Fulton and Lisa Miller Hughes Eldridge Shea Colman McColl Mitchell Grimaldi Chedwyn. If you haven’t read Jamey’s great Eileen Fulton Wishful Casting you should. One of the things I appreciate about ATWT, as it winds down, is the way it is taking time out to honor its rich legacy. We didn't see that on Guiding Light before it went off the air.

I tried, I really tried. You have no idea how hard I tried to enjoy One Life to Live’s “Star X’d Lovers.” I even watched portions of all three episodes a second and third time, but to no avail. I had hoped so much I would enjoy the three-day musical event.  What I didn’t anticipate was needing a bottle of Tylenol to dull the pounding headache the episodes caused. Last week on the podcast I gave my first impression grade of Friday’s episode a B-. By the time Tuesday’s episode was over I was forced to lower that score to a solid C.

I loved the Erica (Susan Lucci) and Palmer (James Mitchell) flashbacks on AMC. Boy I miss Palmer. If Kreizman and Swajeski were smart they’d bring Petey back, but not as the bumbling nerd, written so out-of-character from the young boy we watched hit on Kendall (Alicia Minshew), Greenlee (Rebecca Budig) and Simone (Teri Ivens). Anyone who follows my Twitter account, or has listened to the podcast knows I’m a bit of a nerd/geek myself. I have nothing against them and I fly my geek flag proudly, but Petey should never have been written as one. Petey needs to be a rich, playboy who can be pitted against the latest addition to the Martin clan, Damon (Finn Wittrock), for the love of Colby (Natalie Hall). Mick Hazen is going to be needing a job soon or if they’d thought to SORAS the character a wee bit, why couldn't they have brought on ABC fan favorite Scott Clifton in the role? Damn that The Bold and the Beautiful for snapping him up!

I cheered my new favorite OLTL couple Natalie (Melissa Archer) and Brody (Mark Lawson) having sex.

I applaudedJason Tam’s performance as Markko on OLTL after he caught Langston (Brittany Underwood) cheating on him and discovered how long she’s been unfaithful. Bravo!

I wondered how Days of our Lives’ Will (Chandler Massey) might turn out if Stefano (Joseph Mascolo) does take him under his wing? To be honest I wouldn’t mind seeing it happen. After everything Will has endured in his young life I’m surprised he hasn’t gone to the dark side already. I’m definitely interested to see how this story plays out. I enjoyed the irony of EJ (James Scott) telling Stefano he wasn’t going to do to Will what he did to him.

I imagined what excuse Donna Logan (Jennifer Gareis) is going to use to blame Stephanie (Susan Flannery) for her father being turned into a Mercedes bug splat? I can respect B&B's worldwide success as the most watch daytime series, but imagine how much more enjoyment we as fans here in America would have if a good half of each week wasn’t spent repeating almost verbatim what had been said during the previous 10 days?

I lamented the destruction of OLTL’s Langston, on Twitter. Once one of my favorite young adult characters–and arguably one of daytime’s most unique–after this week I almost never want to see her again. There is no justification for writing Langston into such a pathetic corner that she’s still willing to jump Ford’s (David Gregory) pogo stick, even after discovering him with another woman. (Editor's Note: Uh, have you SEEN Ford? That's what wet naps are for!) You know how, when growing up,you’re parent’s disappointment in you was so great you would have done anything to have them be angry at you instead of seeing the look of disappointment in their eyes? When it comes to #idiotlangston I feel like that parent.

I rolled my eyes at the claim that DAYS’ Chloe (Nadia Bjorlin) is a sex addict. If anyone in Salem needs sex addiction therapy it is Dr. Daniel Droopy Eyes/Hairy Chest Jonas (Shawn Christian).

I enjoyed watching the continued blossoming of young love between Oliver (Zack Conroy) and Hope (Kimberly Matula) on B&B. Anyone who has listened to the podcast knows I tend to like bad girls and schemers, while loathing the doe-eyed “innocent” good girl types. Hope is the exception to the rule. Their romance is one of the few things I’m enjoying on B&B these days, even if it means enduring Steffy’s (Jacqueline MacInnes Wood) hair brained manipulations.

My Totally Subjective Soap Ranking for the Week of May 17 - 21

1. General Hospital

2. As the World Turns

3. Days of our Lives

4. All My Children

5. The Young and the Restless

6. One Life to Live

7. The Bold and the Beautiful