Tomas: Pack your bags, pajarita. You’re leaving your husband.
Tomas wants to make up for lost time, and he and Tea hug, as Todd returns home. Todd attacks Tomas, accusing Tea of cheating. Tea tells him he’s an idiot; Tomas is her brother, but Todd thinks she’s lying. Tea never thought she’d see Tomas again, which is why she never mentioned him. Tomas is surprised to hear they have a daughter, but Tea explains that she ran away after Todd overreacted.
Todd worries that Dani has been missing for twenty-four hours, certain that Nate took advantage of her and then dumped her in a ditch. Tea spoke to Dani, who is fine but furious. Dani doesn’t want to speak to Todd; she wants to punish him. Todd fears that what happened with Starr will repeat with Dani, but Tea thinks Todd’s extreme interference forced Starr to act recklessly.
Todd deems Tea a bad mother, but Tea views Nate and Dani as “humans with sex drives.” Tea threatens to drag Todd to court if he hurts Nate, as Todd storms out to search for Dani. Not liking what he witnessed, Tomas tells Tea he’s rescuing her from Todd.
Dani and Starr get into a fight about how to handle Todd. Dani thinks Starr is too easy on Todd, but Starr guarantees he will only change if aliens scramble his brain. Dani’s actions will cause Todd to “come down harder,” and it will force Dani’s siblings to pick sides. Dani and Nate try to go to bed, but Starr won’t allow them to be in a worse position when Todd inevitably finds them.
Dani thinks Starr is only sticking around as an excuse to be with James. Nate chimes in, revealing that James and Michelle are no longer involved. Starr thinks they hooked up, but Nate says nothing happened. James is irritated Nate broke his trust, but Starr and James are finally honest with each other; his heart belongs to her, and she broke up with Cole.
At the chapel, Ford thinks Tess went back to the room, but she arrives with a boy toy that she found at the slots. Ford is aghast that she lied, but she finds it laughable that he believed her. Ford is “a little bit slow,” and even though she’s marrying him, she plans to spend her wedding night with boy toy. Ford contemplates backing out, and they devolve into slinging threats.
Brody forces a hotel employee to give him access to Tess’ room. He hears someone coming, and attacks from behind; it’s Langston. She followed Brody. Langston thinks Ford’s actions have to do with Ryder, but why Vegas? She tells herself that Tess kidnapped Ford, because the alternative is that Ford dumped her for Tess on Valentine’s Day. Considering Ford’s history, Brody believes that’s a distinct possibility.
Tess’ boy toy uses her key, and Brody manhandles him until he verifies byway of pictures that he saw Tess and Ford. They are at the vampire chapel down the street, intending to marry.
As the ceremony begins, Tess remembers Jessica’s pivotal romantic moments with Brody: the proposal, the promises after Bo and Nora’s wedding, and Brody beaming at the altar. She stops the ceremony. Shortly thereafter, Brody and Langston race in. Are they too late?
Joey blasts Kelly for sleeping with John. How could she do that to Natalie? Kelly knows she made a stupid mistake and she didn’t help the situation, but she didn’t try to hurt Natalie, and she harbors no claim over John. Joey demands a reason, and Kelly says it’s because of him marrying Aubrey.
Kelly didn’t aid Clint, but Joey wouldn’t listen when she tried to tell him. She insists Joey has been blind to Aubrey, and she accuses him of not caring how anyone else feels. Joey will get his heart broken, but she promises she won’t be around to pick up the pieces. With every apology Joey delivers, Kelly grows more irritated until she throws the pie in his face and storms out.
Natalie invites John into Llanfair, apologizing for all of her lies. She understands that John made a mistake, but John doesn’t consider his night with Kelly to be a mistake. Natalie is the only one who failed, and John is only there to see Liam. She gets Liam from the nursery, and places him in John’s arms. John thinks Liam has grown.
Liam has been fussy, and the only thing that calms him is a disc of “slow jazz” John burned for him. Natalie encourages John to feed his son, but Liam is Natalie’s son, and John forces Nat to take him. Upset, Natalie runs Liam back upstairs. On his way out, John runs into a shaken Kelly. She’s upset because of Joey, and John hugs her as Natalie descends the stairs.