The ratings are in for the week of May 9-13 and man-oh-man did Days of Our Lives rebound! (Source: Soap Opera Network) NBC's sole sudser went up a whopping 250,000 total viewers and was up year-to-date by 45,000. DAYS went up two-tenths of a point in households, tying One Life to Live at No. 3. DAYS held steady among women 18-49 (tied again with OLTL and GH), yet went up one-tenth of a point among women 18-34. Looks like Safe fans were happy to see the couple reunited, or they were just pleased to know the God Awful Faux Rafe debacle was over. Buh bye, Dena. Don't let the doorknob hit ya' where the Good Lord split ya!
Over at the Mouse House, One Life to Live continues to prove ABC Daytime is programmed by either that woman who injected her toddler with botox or The Situation's dad. The cancelled sudser was No. 3 in total viewers, households and among women 18-34 and No. 2 among women 18-49, tied with GH and DAYS, as previously mentioned.
Explain to me again why it makes sense to cancel an underbudget, long-running brand, that is actually kicking butt in the Nielsens? Both the P&G soaps were in the ratings basement when the decision was made to cut them, whereas OLTL is creatively and fiscally sound. I bet if ABC told Frank Valentini he had to do this show on a budget of $40 million a year, he'd manage to figure it out. Stupid, stupid, stupid move, ABC.
Storywise OLTL continued to be so hot it threatened to spread a wildfire acoss the ABC dial. Mad Marty Saybrooke (Susan Haskell) gutting Kelly (Gina Tognoni) like a fish, before later slinging Natalie (Melissa Archer) over a roof like a red-headed rag doll, was soapgasmic fun. Haskell needs her own cable drama to headline STAT!
Things didn't go nearly as smooth for OLTL's sister soaps. GH was No. 5 in total viewers for the week and No. 5 in households. GH also hit a new low among women viewers 18-49, and was tied with its all-time low in the demo for a 3rd week. GH also tied its all-time low among women 18-34. Dang Guza. You were slipping, bruh!
I cannot tell a lie, GH was a hot mess the week in question. Sonny and Son (Maurice Benard and Dominic Zamprogna) tracked down Maude's daughter and like somebody was about to shoot somebody else and Abby and Siobhan did something and...sigh. Yeah, there's no denying GH is in creative trouble. I just wonder if promoting Garin Wolf is about actually addressing that, or just signing a much cheaper writer to wrap the show up? Only time and Katie Couric will tell.
All My Children was the lowest rated soap among total viewers, in households and among women 18-49. AMC did manage to go up one-tenth of a point among women 18-34. AMC is like a big, ol' glass of buttermilk right now. It's not the worst thing you ever tasted, and could actually be good with a little cornbread, but when you get right down to it, it's still spoiled milk.
Ricky (Eddie Matos) has to be the lamest soap villain in history. Seriously, we go from Billy Clyde Tuggle to Evil Reverend Telenovela Actor? Can't we just watch Kendall (Alicia Minshew) and Griffin (Jordi Vilasuso) screw like bunnies on carrot-flavored Viagra until Zach (Thorsten Kaye) makes his return from the Great Beyond? Minshew is too talented and beautiful for this and Vilasuso simply needs to be naked five-days-a-week. That alone would give AMC a spike among women 18-49. Hell, I'm spiking now just thinking about it. Can Vilasuso crossover to Llanview? I bet those boys will know what to do with him!
Then there's this Erica (Susan Lucci) Doppelganger madness. I am convinced the only reason Brian Frons greenlit this travesty was to go, "See why I need to cancel them?" whenever he's talking to journos and ad buyers. Whoever pitched this story needs to just be ashamed.
CBS Daytime's The Young and the Restless is in the beginning stages of a tired, ridiculous stank-butt doppelganger storyline of their own. Talk about needing to be ashamed, but first the ratings. Daytime's top soap tied its all-time low among women 18-49 and also fell among women 18-34.
Okay, I know I said Y&R needs to be ashamed, and for this Cane (Daniel Goddard) situation they do, but the rest of the soap is pretty good right about now. Nikki and Victor (Melody Thomas Scott and Eric Braeden) made mad donkey love last week, and that doggone Marcy Rylan gave a Kim Zimmer-worthy performance as Abby's drunk behind ruined her mama's wedding to Patch, er Tucker (Stephen Nichols) before it could happen.
I swear to Soap Jesus, Maria Arena Bell and Co. are the most maddening writing team in daytime, because I KNOW they are talented and capable. The fallout from the arbitration, Baby Lucy's custody saga, Adam (Michael Muhney) reading everyone like trashy novels at Sharon's (Sharon Case) "memorial" all prove these people KNOW how to do good soap. So why on God's earth do they still resort to evil twins and faux deaths? I can't...
The Bold and the Beautiful tied its all-time low in households for the week and hit a new low among women viewers 18-49. B&B also tied it's all-time low in the W18-49 demo and was tied for last among women 18-34. I honestly don't know why B&B has been having such trouble in the demos. As I've stated, I'm enjoying the show, especially Brooke (Katherine Kelly Lang) and Tom (Adam Gregory). I have a countdown clock for the episode in which Thomas finally bangs his stepmom for realz. I only hope Ridge (Ron Moss) walks in on it and suffers a massive stroke! Imagine a catatonic Ridge desperately trying to let Stephanie (Susan Flannery) and Taylor (Hunter Tylo) know what happened, while lying in a bed, unable to move his chisled mouth. Taylor would no doubt be able to relate.
I'm still not crazy about the Passions-esque plot with Tawny (Andrea "Betty Boop" Evans) scheming to keep Liam (Scott Clifton) with her 40-year-old daughter Amber (Adrienne Frantz), but it's better than anything on DAYS or AMC right now. Here's hoping all the major shakeups in daytime this past week will lead to much more raves and less rants in this here column. It gets fairly exhausting to hate so much about a genre I love. See you next Ratings!
For the complete Nielsen ratings for daytime, go to Soap Opera Network.