Days of Our Lives Reboots The Wedding Planner With Sami in J.Lo's Role (SPOILERS)

What kind of epic, game-changing storyline do you pen for one of soap opera's best superbitches? If you're TPTB at Days of Our Lives, you have her spend all of her screen time planning a shotgun wedding. The once-formidable Sami Brady (Alison Sweeney) will be all about a pregnant Gabi's (Camila Banus) nuptials to Nick (Blake Berris) next week on DAYS.


Nick/Gabi/Will/Sonny/Chad/Sami/Rafe: The poster children for the need for Planned Parenthood will forge ahead with their ridiculous, antiquated plot to see Nick marry Gabi and assume parental responsibility for Will's (Chandler Massey) child. I'm curious, does anyone on DAYS' writing staff know any actual young adults? This may be how unfortunate quadrangles dealt with an unexpected pregnancy in the 50's, but it's crazy out of touch in 2012.

As previously mentioned, Sami will be in wedding planner mode, roping Rafe (Galen Gering) in on the fun. However, when the cop overhears Nick explaining that he and Gabi hooked up the same day the met—in order to explain him being the baby daddy—he'll wish he was on a stakeout in Siberia.

Caroline (Peggy McKay) and Sami pressure Will into serving as Nick's best man, making the already squeamish teen pop-to-be even more unnerved. Will does manage to have a brief moment of Christmas tree happiness with Sonny (Freddie Smith), but look for a vengeful Chad (Casey Deidrick) to complicate things by filling Sonny in on the near-deadly stunts Gabi pulled on him and Melanie.

Jennifer/Daniel/Nicole/Eric: Dr. Hairy Crotch (Shawn Christian) manages to stop his hand from a' tremblin' long enough to perform emergency surgery on Jennifer Rose (Melissa Reeves). Jen is so grateful she gives him a $75 Christmas gift card to Chik-fil-a. Okay, no she doesn't. She says she loves him, but that statement proves to be worth about as much as day old waffle fries, when Jen can't remember the declaration! Don't feel too sorry for Dr. J though. He learns the operation to fix his wonky hand worked!

Nicole finally realizes she isn't the blonde Daniel wants, and heads over for a little sympathy from Father Eric (Greg Vaughan). Look for these two to grow even closer as Eric suffers from nightmares.   

Brady/Kristin/John/Victor: Brady Black's (Eric Martsolf) father and grandfather won't be too keen on his latest choice of bed buddies. When Victor (John Aniston) picks up on Bristen's smoking hot chemistry he tears into Isabella's horny baby boy. The reformed Greek mobster also lets Kristen (Eileen Davidson) know how he feels about her sordid affair with his grandson. When it looks like the patriarch isn't having any luck, he clues in John (Drake Hogestyn). How will Brady's daddy react to the lovely bracelet his son has bought for the woman John himself used to pork?