No. 10: Neil and Harmony, The Young and the Restless
We're sure the brass at The Young and the Restless hoped pairing uptight, buppie Neil Winters (Kristoff St. John) with another sassy, sistah from the streets would generate the same kind of heat Neil's relationship with street urchin-turned-fashionista Drucilla Barber (Victoria Rowell) accomplished in the 90's. It didn't.
Man, was it painful to watch two popular, talented soap stars like St. John as Debbi Morgan—as promiscuous, recovering crackhead Harmony— attempt to manufacture chemistry where there obviously wasn't any to be found.
No. 9: Trey and Kristina, General Hospital
On paper, General Hospital's Trey Mitchell (Erik Valdez) and Kristina Corinthos Davis (Lindsey Morgan) should have worked. The grandson of Sonny's (Maurice Benard) mob mentor-turned-rival Joe Scully paired with Sonny's very own Mob Princess— it could have been Romeo and Juliet, By Way of Port Charles, NY. Unfortunately, it proved to be more Taming of The Histrionic Shrew.
While the exitin Valdez attempted to portray Trey as multi-layered, struggling with his father's sinister plans for Kristina and the rest of the Clan Corinthos, Morgan only knows one speed — Extreme Turbo Scenery Chewing. In the end, it all proved too much for a newbie couple to overcome. That silly, The Young and the Restless rip-off, reality show farce didn't help matters.
No. 8: Daniel and Daisy, The Young and the Restless
What did Michael Graziadei do to deserve having Daniel Romalotti stuck in scenes with Daisy, the vapid, girl rapist played to lackluster depths by Yyonne Zima on The Young and the Restless? In 2012, Daniel agreed to marry and live with this boring sociopath in order to keep custody of their daughter Lucy.
This scenario resulted in countless hours of footage, featuring Graz doing his best to create a genuine moment with a screen partner who had checked out during her first 13-week arc on this soap opera. Is there any wonder why he didn't re-up with Y&R?
No. 7: Rick and Caroline, The Bold and the Beautiful
You know a soap couple is in trouble when their storyline's most interesting plot point to date had a man in heels on a catwalk. Fresh from a leading man stint on All My Children, Jacob Young (Rick) deserves better than being paired with lightweight Linsey Godfrey (Caroline) on The Bold and the Beautiful.
B&B had Adrienne Frantz back on screen as Amber—the love of Rick's life—in 2012, but it was almost as if TPTB had forgotten how to write for the popular character, following her stint on The Young and the Restless. Instead of an epic Rick and Amber 2.0 saga, we were stuck watching as the Forrester heir wooed Caroline, who for some odd reason confused rampant blinking, nose crinkling and facial twitching with acting choices.
Daytime Confidential's Jillian Bowe thinks Caroline should be recast with former AMC cutie Chrishell Stause. We don't know if that would salvage this pairing at this point, but something's got to give.
No. 6: Sonny and Connie/Kate, General Hospital
General Hospital may have been the best soap opera of 2012, but they gave us one of the worst frontburner couples in the soap's history. When fashionista Kate Howard (Kelly Sullivan) started to unravel, later morphing into alter ego Connie Falconeri, GH embarked on a silly, sad tale that saw razor-sharp, mob boss Sonny Corinthos (Maurice Benard) being turned into a cuckold by an over-the-top fruit loop.
The same Sonny who dumped Brenda Barrett (Vanessa Marcil) in the rain repeatedly for lesser offenses, put up with a DID-addled goofball making a fool of him at their technicolor wedding? Oh hell no!
Both Brenda and Carly (Laura Wright) had their fair share of mental problems, but Sonny didn't suffer these kinds of indignancies with either. We have a hard time buying the girl from Bensonhurst really being worth the Dimpled Don going through all of these changes. Especially when Brenda is out there somewhere, likely without an umbrella to her fabulous name...
No. 5: Kevin and Chloe, The Young and The Restless
We were all fans of John Hughes' movies in the 80's, but sometimes the Geek and the Glamour Puss are meant to just be friends; this is certainly the case with Kevin Fisher's (Greg Rikaart) sexless romance with Chloe Mitchell (Elizabeth Hendrickson) on The Young and the Restless. We adore Kev and Chloe—separately—but as a couple they do absolutely nothing for us.
Sneaky, weasley Kevin should be off hacking into Jack Abbott's (Peter Bergman) computer, at the behest of Victor Newman (Eric Braeden); while luxury queen Chloe could be mixing it up at Jabot with her ex-hubby Cane Ashby (Daniel Goddard), his wife—and Chloe's onetime rival—Lily Winters (Christel Khalil) and sexy newcomer Tyler Michaelson (Redaric Williams). Maybe Tyler and Chloe could team up to bust up the Ashbys, while accidentally falling for one another, much to the chagrin of Tyler's overprotective big sis, Leslie (Angell Conwell)?
Or maybe, Nick Newman (Joshua Morrow) could enlist the former NYC socialite to host parties at his new club, putting her in the orbit of Nick's hunky son Noah (Robert Adamson) and his foes Carmine (Marco Dapper) and Alex (Ignacio Serricchio)? We don't know exactly who or what Chloe should be doing in Genoa City, but we definitely know it shouldn't be Kevin.
No. 4: Daniel and Jennifer, Days of Our Lives
Gary Tomlin and Chris Whitesell simply will not stop trying to make Shawn Christian happen at Days of Our Lives. Christian's character, the perennially randy, nondiscriminating Dr. Daniel Jonas, continues to drive the women of Salem so insane that they forget about their newly-dead husbands, and/or threaten to fling themselves off the steps of the Horton Town Square, when denied access to the good doc's pink flesh stick.
The peeps at DAYS want us to believe that Daniel is the love of Jennifer Horton's (Melissa Reeves) life. The problem is, we've actually been watching the soap opera all these years, and know that Jenn has only truly loved one man — Jack Deveraux (Matthew Ashford). Tomlin and Whitesell may get tickled by killing off Jack with the same frequency that South Park slaughters Kenny, but it doesn't change the fact that he remains the only man for Jennifer Rose.
No 3: Liam and Hope, The Bold and the Beautiful
What a difference a year makes. The Bold and the Beautiful's Liam Spencer (Scott Clifton) and Hope Logan (Kim Matula) made our 10 Best Couples of 2011 list. This year, a myriad of botched weddings, failed marriage license filings, cartoonish obstacles and more repetitive dialogue than the script editor of a 20-minute program should have ever allowed, had us hating the star-crossed lovers.
Clifton and Matula are solid performers with real chemistry, but their storyline gets really old, really fast. Here's hoping that since Brad Bell is previewing Hope fighting to get Liam back from Steffy (Jacqueline MacInnes Wood) in 2013, he will come up with a fresh way to sell the triangle; and please, enough with all the rehashing and flashing back to stuff that just happened the freaking day before. Aspen is pretty, but it ain't that damn pretty!
No. 2: Johnny and Connie/Kate, General Hospital
It wasn't bad enough that one of General Hospital's smoldering, volatile, olive-hued mobsters had to be paired with Connie/Kate (Kelly Sullivan) in 2012. The crazy bitch had to have two of 'em!
Johnny Zacchara (Brandon Barash) should have ran, not walked, to turned himself in to Port Charles Police Chief Anna Devane (Finola Hughes), rather than allowing himself to be blackmailed into marriage by that walking ham and cheese sandwich. Heck, if Michael (Chad Duell) could get sprung after just a few short months in Pentonville for bashing Claudia's (Sarah Brown) head in, we're sure one of PC's legal eagles could have gotten Johnny out on good behavior.
He didn't mean for Starr Manning's (Kristen Alderson) young family to bite it when he shot out his kooky grandpappy's tires. How was he to know that particular highway was a popular thoroughfare for One Life to Live teen parents? Throw yourself on the mercy of the court, John.
No. 1: Victor and Sharon, The Young and the Restless
One thing you can say for Maria Arena Bell, she saved her yuckiest mess for last on The Young and the Restless! How did La Bell wrap up a head writing/executive producing stint that saw—among other catastrophes—a gaslighting stepson wiping up afterbirth in a purple dress, a child abuse victim dressing up like a rodent to rob banks and a woman dying by falling into the open mouth of a volcano? We'll tell you how, by having a 70-something man romance his daughter figure.
Women sleeping there way through families is as old as the soap opera itself. Reva Shayne (Kim Zimmer) did it on Guiding Light. Brooke Logan (Katherine Kelly Lang) does it on The Bold and the Beautiful, and we love those characters and storylines! The difference between those aforementioned vixens and Sharon Collins Newman (Sharon Case), however, is that Sharon wasn't known for using sex as a weapon.
Save for one odd kiss, amid a period of mental instability for Sharon, she always thought of Victor Newman (Eric Braeden) as the father she never had. Victor in turn treated Sharon like one of his children, whether she was currently married to a Newman son or not. So for him to suddenly start popping Viagra when she walked in the room was just plain gross.