LIVE BLOG: 71st Annual Golden Globes

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Welcome everyone! It's awards season again, and I'm back for another round of Live Blogging! We'll get started here shortly, but drop me a line in the comments on your favorites to win.

Here we go!

Tina Fey and Amy Pohler are out on stage to do their opening. Tina looks fabulous! Tina starts it off with the jokes. Amy starts thanking everyone, and messes up Tom Hanks’ names on purpose. It was funny. Tina and Amy have such a best friend vibe!



Tina congratulates Amy on her nomination. Amy does the same and asks if the camera can get a shot of Amy. The camera flashes to Jennifer Lawrence. Then, they make fun of Julia Louis Dreyfuss for sitting in the film section. Julia is smoking an E-Cigarette and Reese Witherspoon is being her wing woman. I’m cracking up over here!

"Gravity is the story of George Clooney and how he would rather float into space than spend one moment with a woman his own age"-Tina Fey. Bloop!

Tina and Amy are going through the room and roasting everyone! They are killing it! Get it ladies!

The ladies do a skit on Scandal and Kerry Washington's baby.

"I am the captain now!"-Tina Fey to one of the actors from Captain Phillips.

I laughed out loud several times during their opening dialogue. Awesome job Tina and Amy.

Tom Hanks and Sandra Bullock jump on stage to present:

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE

And The Golden Globe Goes To...

JENNIFER LAWRENCE

Jennifer walks on stage in a dress that looks like a fancy dinner napkin. I think I liked her hair longer as well. She gives a cute and funny speech. Congrats Jennfer!

Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis saunter on stage to present:

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A TV SERIES, MINISERIES or TV MOVIE

And The Golden Globe Goes To...

JACQUELINE BISSET

She's so surprised to hear her name called. She's crying. She can't even say anything. It's amazing to see a legend on stage be this flabergasted on stage. She doesn't even know what to say. They just played the music on her and she just kept going. Oh mercy, now she's started cussing! Jackie told me to tell y'all "I've waiting for this for too long. I'm not about to stop!" I think she may have had a few too many, but I'm not mad!

Mark Ruffalo and Naomi Watts present:

OUTSTANDING MINI-SERIES or TV MOVIE

And The Golden Globe Goes To...

BEHIND THE CANDLELABRA

I wish people didn't have to walk a mile to get to the podium. This is going to get old fast.

Mark and Naomi also present:

OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A MINI-SERES or TV MOVIE

And The Golden Globe Goes To...

ELISABETH MOSS

Jessica Lange was ROBBED! Sorry y'all, but Jessica just slays all for me. Elisabeth gets up there and starts swearing. Sweet Mercy. Everyone is up swearing like sailors tonight! I do like Elisabeth's dress though. Awww she said the award was for her mom. How precious!

Matt Damon appears on stage. He's still cute and complains about not bringing his glasses. He's out to present one of the motion picture nominees: Captian Phillips.

I am loving Tina's almost burgundy dress. It fits her perfectly. They bring out the HFPA President: Theo Kingma. He gives the usual President of *Insert Award Show Here* speech.

Jonah Hill and Margot Robbie are out and Margot TOWERS over Jonah. Sweet Mercy, they just had to give them a YELLOW PIECE OF NOTEPAD PAPER to annouce the nominee for The Wolf of Wall Street. Whoever is working the teleprompter tonight probably won't have a job tomorrow. This a MESS!!

Aaron Eckhart and Paula Patton make it out. They present

OUTSTANDING ACTOR IN A TV SERIES

And The Golden Globe Goes To...

BRYAN CRANSTON

I can't even hate on this one. It is well deserved. Bryan was simply amazing as Walter White!

Aaron and Paula also present

OUTSTANDING TV DRAMA

And The Golden Globe Goes To....

BREAKING BAD

Once again, I can't be angry here. It was an amazing series! Aaron Paul says two words and steals the show "Yeah, Bitch!" LONG. LIVE. JESSE. PINKMAN. I say!

Steve Coogan and Philomena Lee slowly walk on stage. Philomena is the actual person the movie Philomena is based. They present the motion picture nominee: Philomena.



Kate Beckinsale, Usher and P.Diddy walk on stage. Where did they find the trio of people? Were they all just walking by and they said “Hey, wanna present an award?” They present:



OUTSTANDING SCORE



And The Golden Globe Goes To….



ALEX EBERT



Unfortunately, he has to walk from Texas to get on stage. This is absurd. Also, I think Alex may be drunk. He has NO IDEA where he is. Just not one clue.

P. Diddy is already drunk in case y'all didn't know. I can't y'all. The three of them also present:

OUTSTANDING ORIGINAL SONG

And The Golden Globe Goes To...

ORDINARY LOVE by BONO

You can't really go wrong with Bono. At least I don't think you can! Bono brings us back to a earth with his speech! Thank you Bono!

Taylor King, Jesse Spencer and Amber Hurd appear stage. I see Amber forgot to comb her hair. Jesse is still fine though. They present:

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A TV SERIES, MINI-SERIES or TV MOVIE

And The Golden Globe Goes To...

JON VOIGHT

Wow! I really thought it was going to be Aaron Paul. Jon has always been a great actor, though.

Olivia Wilde and her baby bump glide on stage. I'm loving her dress. She presents the motion picture nominee: Her.

Robert Downey Jr. is long great tonight! He doesn't care who wins tonight, because he's really the one who is winning. He presents:

OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY OR MUSICAL

And The Emma Goes To...

AMY ADAMS

I love me some Amy Adams. However, I am not loving her dress. It doesn't fit her right about the waist...anywhere. They're playing the music on her, but she thanks her daughter. Sooo cute.

Kyra Sedwck and her husband Kevin Bacon arrive on stage. I am in love with the color of Kyra's dress. They bring out their daughter Sosie Bacon, Miss Golden Globe. Tina jumps on stage and introduces her adult son from a previous relationship: Randy. He's Mr. Golden Globe. Randy looks alot like Amy Pohler dressed as a man. Wink Wink. Tina and Randy get into an argument. Those two are slaying me. Randy walks into the the crowd and asks if Idris Elba is his father. I can't BREATHE y'all!

Kyra and Kevin present:

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A TV SERIES

And The Golden Globe Goes To...

ROBIN WRIGHT

As much as I wanted Kerry to win, Robin KILLED THE GAME in House Of Cards. She was fabulous!! Robin literally runs on stage!

Jim Carey rolls ons tage in a navy blue suit. Jim's having fun with the crowd. He presents the motion picture nominee: American Hustle



Christoph Waltz presents:

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE

The Golden Globe Goes To...

JARED LETO

I can't believe a rock star just won a Golden Globe. The man is the lead singer for 30 Seconds to Mars and very VERY BEAUTIFUL!

Emma Thompson gets on stage with her martni and her shoes in her hand. This show is a drunken mess. She presents:

OUTSTANDING SCREENPLAY

And The Golden Globe Goes To...

Emma asks for the envelope and then throws her shoes. She also hands her drink to young Sosie.

SPIKE JONZE

Spike accepts his award with his nerdy voice.

Laura Dern is out to present the motion picture nominee: Nebraska

Tina and Amy have returned. They introuduce Julie Bowen and Seth Meyers.

Julie and Seth present:

OUTSTANDING ACTOR IN A TV SERIES COMEDY or MUSICAL

And The Golden Globe Goes To...

ANDY SAMBERG

I almsot didn't notice Andy without his big hair. He's always been a funny guy. Andy thanks everyone as only he can.

Orlando Bloom and Zoe Saldana present:

OUTSTANDING FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

I'm not real sure what happened to Zoe's dress. Bless her heart she thinks it looks good.

And The Golden Globe Goes To...

THE GREAT BEAUTY

The director thanks everyone he can. I'm not even kidding. Everyone he's ever met, he thanked them.

Tina and Amy are back in two different dresses. They make fun of Julia who is back in the TV section. Julia is eating a hot dog.

Melissa McCarthy and Jimmy Fallon present:

I wish they would give Melissa some big hair, instead of the high bump ponytail. Apparently, Melissa McCarthy thinks she's Matt Damon now. Jimmy tells the story of how Melissa came to think she's Matt. Melissa is stealing this skit. 

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A TV MINISERIES or MOVIE

And The Golden Globe Goes To...

MICHAEL DOUGLAS

Michael is going down memory lane in his speech.

Chris Pine is looking TOO FINE tonight! Help Me JESUS!! Anyways, Chris and Emma Watson present:

OUTSTANDING ANIMATED FEATURE FILM

And The Golden Globe Goes To...

FROZEN

Colin Farrell is sexy as ever tonight as well. He presents motion picture nominee: Inside Llewyn Davis

Chris O'Donnell and KHALEESI...er I mean.. .Emilia Clarke present:

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A TV COMEDY

And The Golden Globe Goes To....

AMY POHLER

Amy totally makes out with Bono before she goes up to accept. Amy is legit nervous up here. It's about time she won!

Amy is still floored she won! Tina gives Amy a big congrats. They introduce Emma Stone!

Ohhh Emma...what do you have on?  It looks like a tacky Christmas sweater and skirt combo. Fire your stylist baby. She presents the montage for Woody Allen for the Cecil B. DeMille Award for "outstanding contributions to the world of entertainment".

Diane Keaton briskly walks on stage in a suit. Like a man's suit. Does she wear dresses anymore? Anyone know? I'm just curious. Also, her hair is fully gray now. It looks good on her. It almost feels like Diane is rambling about Woody. Laaaawwwddddd, Diane done started swearing like everyone else. If you can't beat them, join them. Now she's singing. She actually doesn't have a terrible voice! However, she had no clue where she was.

Liam Neeson is now on stage. He has such a deep gritty voice. Of course, that's probably why he does mostly action films these days. He presents the motion picture nominee: Gravity

Ben Affleck is out to present:

OUTSTANDING DIRECTOR

And The Golden Globe Goes To...

ALFONSO CUARON

Good God in Heaven. He just shared a story about Sandra Bullock mishearing him when he said "I'm going to give you a headset". Apparently, Sandra heard "I'm going to give you herpes". I can't y'all. I CAN. NOT.

Tina Fey brings out Chris Evans and Uma Thurman. I'm not sure how I feel about Uma's dressm but I do like the way it fits her. They present:

OUTSTANDING TV SERIES COMEDY or MUSICAL

And The Golden Globe Goes To...

BROOKLYN NINE-NINE

Look at One Life to Live Alum Melssa Fumero up there! Get it GIRL! Brooklyn Nine Nine is stealing the awards this year. All of you other comedies better watch out.

Jennifer Lawrence in her fancy dinner napkin dress presents:

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE

And The Golden Globe Goes To...

LEONARDO DICAPRIO

Haaaaaayyyyy Leo! If you need any help with that award or anything, I'm your girl. I've loved this man for so long! Congrats Leo! It's about time! Leo is on stage and you can just tell he has so many thing he wants to say, but can't get it out!

Reese Witherspoon comes on stage in the most plain dress I've seen tonight. The color is nice, but I think it's too simple. Shrug. She presents the motion picture nominee: 12 Years A Slave

Chris Hemsworth and Niki Lauda walk on stage. Chris is another one who is too fine! They present motion picture nominee: Rush

Drew Barrymore and her baby bump covered in a hideous flower dress are now on stage. She presents:

OUTSTANDING MOTION PICTURE COMEDY or MUSICAL

And The Golden Globe Goes To...

AMERICAN HUSTLE

Tina and Amy bring out Leonardo Dicaprio. Thank YOu SO MUCH for putting that man on my screen again. He finishes up his acceptance speech. Do what you want, Leo. I don't care! He presents:

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE DRAMA

And The Golden Globe Goes To...

CATE BLANCHETT

Leo said Kate Winslet's name all special during the nominees. That's his boo, y'all know. Not like that, but his bestie! Too cute! Anyways, Cate Blanchett walked on stage and said she had some Vodka's before this. She wasn't lying. She's rambling like she's knocked a few back.

Jessica Chastain appears at the podium. I wish her dress wasn't so plain. She usually SLAYS! Sigh. Anywho, she presents:

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE DRAMA

And The Golden Globe Goes To...

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY

Fun Fact: I attended the same university as Matthew. Downstairs in one of the gym's, there is a picture of him winning an intramurial team award. It was fun to see him look so young.

Matthew has never lost his Texas twang. He tells a story about growing up and not being able to watch TV as a child.

Johnny Depp and his FIIINNNEEEEE self walks out. Ohhhh, not blonde hair Johnny. Dark hair, always. It doesn't matter. He could still get it from me. He presents:

OUTSTANDING MOTION PICTURE DRAMA

And The Golden Globe Goes To...

12 YEARS A SLAVE

I thought they were going to get shut out! It's nice to see this movie win the award.

Tina and Amy thank everyone for being there.

"Thank You everyone. This was the the beautiful mess I hoped it would be"-Tina Fey.

Well y'all, Tina said it all. It was indeed a beautiful mess of an evening. I would add an emphasis on the mess part. That's it for me here folks. Let me your thoughts on the show in the comments. Who was snubbed? Who deserved to win? Who looked great and who didn't?

I'll catch y'all on the next live blog! Goodbye!