21 Soap Opera Characters Solange Knowles Should Beat Up In An Elevator
Since Beyonce's little sister Solange Knowles has displayed quite the penchant for handing out ass-whuppings in elevators, we've decided to compile a list of the soap opera characters we'd love to see get a taste of what Jay-Z received at the recent Costume Institute Gala. Keep reading to find out who want to see get #Solanged!
No. 21 and No. 20: Michael Corinthos and Kiki Jerome, General Hospital
Could there be a more whiny pair of 20-somethings in fictional Port Charles, New York? Since sad sack Michael (Chad Duell) and his sour gal pal Kiki Jerome (Kristen Alderson) are always frowning anyway on General Hospital, why not let Solange give 'em a reason to pout?
No. 19: Quinn Perkins, Scandal
Grumpy ex-Gladiator Quinn (Katie Lowes) has needed a good ass-kicking since Season 1 of ABC's Scandal. You'd think Huck (Guillermo Diaz) torturing the idiot for going all B613 would be enough to get her in line, but no. She's still pulling stunts—like finding Huck's family without his knowledge or permission—that simply require her to spend a little one-on-one time with Solange.
— Jamey Giddens
Photos of Solange, Beyonce and Jay-Z by PR Photos
No. 18: Dylan McAvoy, The Young and the Restless
We can't think of a more useless-yet-central character on CBS Daytime's The Young and the Restless than Dylan McAvoy (Steve Burton). The brooding, sighing war vet, with a resume longer than his back story (and trust us, that's long), has us dreaming up various scenarios where Solange punches, kicks and scratches him right off our screens.
– Jamey Giddens
No. 17: Emma Swan, Once Upon a Time
Emma Swan (Jennifer Morrison) stole Regina's (Lana Parrilla) happiness yet again, by bringing back Robin Hood's (Sean Maguire) wife from the Enchanted Forrest. She may not be the Evil Queen, but Solange is up to the task of smacking some sense into Emma on Once Upon a Time.
— Melodie Aikels
No. 16: Thomas Barrow, Downton Abbey
Downton Abbey's Thomas Barrow (Rob James-Collier) has spent a decade making everyone's life miserable with petty schemes and arranging for lady's virtues to be stolen. Solange wouldn't let the help get away with such dastardly plots.
— Jenna Dorsi
No. 15 and No. 14: Dannifer, Days of Our Lives
Everyone keeps trying to pull apart star-crossed lovers Jennifer Horton (Melissa Reeves) and Dr. Daniel Jonas (Shawn Christian) on NBC's Days of Our Lives. We say let 'em stay together. After all, there's safety from Solange in numbers!
— Jamey Giddens
No. 13: Scarlett O'Connor, Nashville
Bless poor Scarlett's (Clare Bowen) heart. The Nashville hayseed has more perils than Pauline! A dysfunctional mama, drug abuse, stage fright and plenty of boyfriend drama had Scarlett as weak as a colt this past season on the ABC sudser. We know it wouldn't be a fair fight, but maybe a round of bobbing and weaving with Solange would toughen this gal up some!
— Jamey Giddens
No. 12: Levi, General Hospital
General Hospital has quite a few annoying characters at the moment. There is annoying (see Michael and Kiki above) and then there is Spinelli-bot Levi (Zachary Garred), or as I like to call him, The Wombat. Who better to turn Maxie's (Kirsten Storms) latest stray into road kill, than Solange?
— Luke Kerr
No. 11: April Kepner, Grey's Anatomy
Dr. April Kepner (Sarah Drew) managed to snag the absolute hottest doctor in Seattle (Sorry, McDreamy!), yet the flame-haired dingbat keeps coming up with ways to eff up her relationship with Dr. Jackson Avery (Jesse Williams) on Grey's Anatomy. The mega Christian pauper knew her guy was an insanely-wealthy agnostic when she started boning him. Why wait until they jumped the broom to decide his lack of faith and enormous trust fund were deal-breakers? Once Kepner's maternity leave is finished, we so need her to get trapped in an elevator with Solange at Grey Sloan Memorial.
— Jamey Giddens
No.10 and No. 9: Liam and Wyatt Spencer, The Bold and the Beautiful
Opposite sides of the same Spencer half-dollar coin, Liam (Scott Clifton) deserves to be attacked by Solange for suggesting sharing Hope (Kim Matula) with Wyatt (Darin Brooks) on The Bold and the Beautiful. Wyatt deserves a beat down for going along with it.
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— Luke Kerr
No. 8: Cersei Lannister, Game of Thrones
How do you solve a problem like Game of Thrones' hated Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey)? Unleash Solange on her and we sure as hell would find out!
— Luke Kerr
No. 7: Felix DuBois, General Hospital
Felix Dubois, R.N. (Marc Samuel) is the worst General Hospital busy body since Amy Vining! We think Solange might teach him a thing or two about minding his own damn business!
— Jenna Dorsi
No. 6: Elena Ramos, Dallas
How could lightweight Elena Ramos (Jordana Brewster) ever think she has what it takes to bring the Ewings down on Dallas? Solange needs to deliver a Texas-sized ass whupping to Ms. Ramos.
— Melodie Aikels
No. 5: Franco, General Hospital
Her big sister and the rest of girl group Destiny's Child had a huge hit with "Say My Name". We want Solange to have General Hospital's serial killer-turned-court jester Franco (Roger Howarth) saying "Uncle".
— Jamey Giddens
No. 4: Abby Newman, The Young and the Restless
Anyone still using "hoochie mama" as a cut down in 2014 needs to be chased throughout The Standard Hotel by Solange. Abby Newman (Melissa Ordway), once one of our favorite characters on The Young and the Restless, now exists as merely a watered down compilation of every daffy blonde rom-com heroine from Cher in Clueless to Elle in Legally Blonde. If this sad development doesn't require corporal punishment from an angry pop tart, we don't know what does.
— Jamey Giddens
No. 3: Peter 'Little Finger' Baelish, Game of Thrones
Solange may be our only hope of saving Sansa Stark (Sophie Turner) from Little Finger (Aidan Gillen) on Game of Thrones.
— Melodie Aikels
No. 2: Megan Draper, Mad Men
Mad Men's Megan Draper (Jessica Paré) needs an old school Solange smacking for not having the self-respect to divorce Don (Jon Hamm). Then again, misery loves company.
— Jenna Dorsi
No.1: Luke Spencer, General Hospital
Luke Spencerؘ (Anthony Geary)—real or allegedly faux—is a misogynist creeper, who takes no responsibility for his actions on General Hospital. We bet Luke would think twice before feeling up Solange, like he did Kiki (Kristen Alderson).
— Jenna Dorsi
