I never thought I'd say this, but the thrill is gone for this former Spixie fan. I adore the characters of Maxie Jones (Kirsten Storms) and Damian Spinelli (Bradford Anderson) separately on General Hospital, but I'd rather watch The Young and the Restless showrunner Chuck Pratt blow up Legolands all across these United States on a You Tube loop, than invest in the current Nathan/Maxie/Spinelli triangle kicking off on the addictive ABC Daytime sudser.
I just started to ship Naxie, and here comes Spinelli stumbling and bumbling over his words again! I get all couples need conflict, but can't it be something or someone other than Spinelli?
The private dick's renewed love for Maxie doesn't feel authentic, especially when we saw him tell her over and over again that he chose fellow geek Ellie Trout (Emily Wilson) over the drama-prone fashionista before leaving town. As I tend to do when I'm not feeling a particular soap arc, I started imagining what I would do with the characters instead, which brings us to my latest Wishful Storytelling.
My fan fic for Maxie solves two problems I have with the character, her Hallmark rom-com-esque love life and her lack of a job. Okay, so here's what I came up with the other night at my Suburban Starbucks!
Federal Agent Anna Devane (Finola Hughes) deputizes Spinelli to do a forensics accounting on the cash Dr. Liesl Obrecht (Kathleen Gati) infused into General Hospital. Spinelli quickly ties the funds to a Middle Eastern terrorist cell. Obrecht is arrested and sent to Super Max, while the feds seize the hospital.
Once the government finishes cleaning the hospital's accounts, they auction off the financially ruined institution to the highest bidder, which happens to be Michael Corinthos (Chad Duell) on behalf of ELQ. Michael's great aunt Tracy (Jane Elliot) uses his purchase of the cash-strapped hospital against him. Tracy starts a smear campaign in the business press, calling her nephew incompetent and accuses him of making decisions as CEO that aren't fiscally sound.
To revamp his image, Michael hires Maxie as ELQ's new Vice-President of Communications. He charges her with using the same skill set she honed in the fashion press to makeover his image as a titan of industry. Nathan isn't pleased about Maxie's new gig, but he can't say why.
Nathan quit the PCPD to work with Anna. The sexy fed is working on a case tying Michael and ELQ to organized crime. Michael, drunk with power and thirsting for revenge against Sonny (Maurice Benard), is laundering money with enemies of the Corinthos clan, namely Johnny Zacchara (Brandon Barash) and Julian Jerome (William deVry), in order to hasten his father's downfall. The last thing Nathan needs is his lady working for the corporate criminal he's trying to take down.
Since Nathan can't give her a good enough reason not to take the job (without compromising his case), Maxie accepts the lucrative position Michael offers. "What if Georgie is some brainiac, like Spinelli?" she reasons. "This job will let me save up enough money to send her to the best dork school in the country!"
Maxie throws herself into revamping Michael's image. She gets him on the cover of Bloomberg BusinessWeek and Fast Company, much to Tracy's dismay.
The press goes crazy for Port Charles, New York's gorgeous new "It" couple, when Sabrina Santiago (Teresa Castillo) accompanies Michael to a charity fundraiser Maxie arranges at the MetroCourt. Sabrina is flattered by the invitation. She has no idea Michael read a profile on how Jeb Bush's Latina wife, Columba, is helping to soften his image among voters of color and decided to lavishly romance Sabrina to attract more Hispanic consumers and business partners for ELQ.
Maxie pulls in all her press favors to promote Michael and Sabrina as the next George Clooney and Amal Alamuddin. Meanwhile, Nathan's investigation into Michael's corrupt business dealings intensifies.
Buoyed by all of the positive buzz their debut as a couple generates, Michael pops the question to Sabrina. Felix (Marc Samuel), Epiphany (Sonya Eddy) and Liz (Rebecca Herbst) advise Sabrina to be sure being married to Michael Quartermaine is the life she wants for herself.
Liz points out the Michael Corinthos she watched grow up was a lovely, charming young man. She doesn't recognize the ruthless, hardened mogul he's become. Sabrina defends Michael, insisting the softer side of his personality is still there. He only shows it to her.
Carlos Rivera (Jeffrey Vincent Parise) proves an unexpected and uninvited guest at Michael and Sabrina's gala engagement fête. Sabrina's ex accuses her of selling herself into marriage with this blanquito.
Michael's heavily-armed security detail escorts Carlos out — and beats him within an inch of his life. Sabrina is apologetic to Michael. In public, Michael accepts her remorse and recovers with a winning smile. Once they are alone, he viciously berates Sabrina for letting her gutter snipe ex-lover embarrass him in front of their friends, family and the media. He warns her never to let it happen again. Sabrina begins to see what her friends are talking about. Michael is a different man.
Michael having Maxie work day and night on publicity campaigns for him and Sabrina, ELQ and the hospital causes her relationship with Nathan to strain. He grows desperate to bust this prick, before he ruins his relationship with Maxie, or gets her into serious trouble.
While working late with her boss one night at ELQ, Maxie gets a text that Michael has been named to Forbes' 30 Under 30 List. "Not only will you be featured in the magazine, you're getting the cover!" she exclaims.
An exhilarated Michael picks Maxie up off the ground into a hug. Both become awkwardly aware of how close they are in the moment. Michael kisses her.
He quickly puts her down and she rushes home to Nathan. The next day, Michael and Maxie agree to act like the kiss never happened. Unfortunately, neither can stop thinking about it.
Refusing to accept Sabrina has moved on with Michael, Carlos kidnaps her on the day of her wedding. A humiliated Michael thinks she ran off with Carlos on purpose.
Concerned about her boss and friend, Maxie tracks Michael to the MetroCourt suite he booked for the first night of his botched honeymoon. Her attempts to console the drunken, angry Quartermaine scion ends with them making hot, dangerous love against the wall.
Reeling from her actions, Maxie gets a call from Anna Devane. Nathan was shot on the docks while trying to intercept a shipment of ecstasy coming into the harbor.
A guilt-ridden Maxie races to GH. She vows to God to marry Nathan and forget about Michael if Nathan pulls through.
When Nathan comes to, he and Maxie are married in the chapel at GH. Maxie calls Michael to put in her notice — she can no longer work for him.
Carlos reluctantly agrees to let Sabrina go. She makes a beeline for Michael, explaining she was abducted against her will. Michael gathers a small group of their family and friends at Monica's (Leslie Charleson) home. There he and Sabrina make it official.
Maxie is plagued by guilt over sleeping with Michael. She can barely stand to see Nathan looking so lovingly into his bride's eyes. Her dilemma compounds when she misses her period.
Michael tells Sabrina he wants to start a family right away. He's still pissed about the courts ruling in Sonny's favor regarding Avery's custody. He's ready to create a next generation of the Quartermaine dynasty.
Sabrina makes an appointment with her OB-GYN. The doctor informs her she has a small cyst on one of her ovaries. Dr. Silas Clay (Michael Easton) performs a biopsy. The new Mrs. Michael Quartermaine learns she has ovarian cancer and has to have an emergency hysterectomy. She will never be able to give Michael a biological child.
Maxie confides in Lulu about possibly being pregnant with Michael's child. Lulu is shocked but not judgmental. She urges Maxie to come clean. Maxie lying about her last pregnancy almost destroyed them all.
Maxie promises she will come clean, but first she needs to make sure she's pregnant. She goes to the same doctor Sabrina uses. The physician informs Maxie she is indeed carrying a child. Sabrina, who is there for a follow-up appointment, overhears Maxie's joyous news. She's jealous but happy for the woman she thinks of as a friend.
At dinner, Sabrina innocently shares with Michael that Maxie is pregnant. He tries to keep the alarm out of his face. As soon as Michael is alone, he dials Maxie.
Maxie heads over to ELQ, where Michael has summoned her. He demands to know if the baby she's carrying is his. Maxie says she isn't sure. He wants her to take a DNA test. Maxie says its too soon. She isn't going to do anything to possibly harm her baby, just to satisfy Michael's curiosity.
Michael blasts that it's more than curiosity. If the child she's carrying is his, he or she is the future of the Quartermaine legacy. He won't let Maxie and Nathan take his child away from him, the way Sonny and Carly took Michael away from AJ.
Maxie tells Michael to calm down. They don't even know if the baby is his. Once it's safe to do a DNA test, she will have one done and they will no one way or another.
Maxie storms off leaving Michael to contemplate possibly having sired an heir. Neither realizes Tracy overhead the entire conversation. She's been bugging Michael's office for weeks.
Maxie plans to tell Nathan the truth when he returns from training in D.C. She's certain they can survive this, if she's upfront with him.
Maxie never gets the chance to come clean. Tracy leaks the recording to Access Port Charles, which does a special syndicated broadcast on "THE MARRIED MOGUL AND HIS PREGNANT MISTRESS". Nathan and his fellow Fed classmates watch the broadcast in horror in the break room of their training facility in D.C. He becomes so livid, he smashes the flat screen TV. When one of the other guys starts giving him a hard time about having a slut for a wife. Nathan gets into a potentially career-ending brawl.
One relationship is broken beyond repair, but another strengthens in the aftermath of the scandal. Nathan returns to Port Charles and ends things with Maxie. He leaves her crying on the floor of their apartment in the fetal position. He finds a shoulder (and possibly more) to lean on at the MetroCourt bar in the form of troubled songbird Brook Lynn Ashton (Wishful Casting: Nadia Bjorlin).
When Maxie hears a knock at the door, she thinks he's changed his mind and come back for her. On the other side she finds Spinelli. He saw the broadcast. Spinelli picks his Maximista up off the floor and assures her everything will be alright.
Sabrina Quartermaine has cried her last tear over Michael. After a talk with her grandmother-in-law Monica about what it takes to be a formidable Quartermaine wife, Sabrina decides to take control.
She tells Michael she no plans of walking away from their marriage. The former Nurse Santiago has come to like the finer things in life. In fact, she plans to take Michael's black card and head over to Wyndham's for one helluva shopping spree. After that, she might stop off at the Bentley dealership. Hell, maybe she'll buy one for Felix? And there isn't a damn thing Michael can do to stop her. "I'm not going to make it easy for you to shack up with your little vapid, blonde whore and her bastard," Sabrina warns. "This marriage, my love, is until death do us part." Michael has never been so turned on.
Will Maxie's baby turn out to be Michael's or Nathan's? Will Nathan ever bring Michael to justice? Will Mutter break out of Super Max to make Maxie pay for hurting her Schätzchen? You'll have to wait until the next time I'm craving a White Chocolate Mocha!