Tumbles down stairwells! Amnesia-inducing bumps on the head! Overheard confessions of overwrought emotions! If I didn't see the swanky fashion show opening sequence every day I'd think I was watching an installment of Carol Burnett's old "As The Stomach Turns" sketch, as opposed to CBS Daytime's The Bold and the Beautiful. After giving us one powerful character driven story after another in 2015, B&B chose to kick off 2016 with a major reset to the days of silly plot driven contrivances.
Katie Spencer (Heather Tom) proved herself to be quite possibly the dumbest character currently on network television by insisting man-eater sister Brooke Logan (Katherine Kelly Lang) come to work for Katie and her husband Bill (Don Diamont) — knowing full well Brooke and Bill once had a scorching-hot affair. Brooke, who hadn't given Bill a second glance in months, was suddenly crying crocodile tears over the very thought of having to be in such close proximity with the "love of her life". So Ridge Forrester (Thorsten Kaye) was what, 30 years of training wheels on Brooke's true path to "destiny" with Dollar Bill?
Just a few weeks after Katie had the initial idea for Brooke to work at Spencer Publications, she was already overhearing Brooke confess her undying love for Bill. Why the rush?
It's bad enough to instantly reconfigure an already settled love triangle; plowing through the beats at breakneck speed just makes it even more trifling. Katie/Bill/Brooke 2.0 is downright Chekhovian compared to the latest chapter in the saga of Wyatt (Darin Brooks), Ivy (Ashleigh Brewer), Liam (Scott Clifton) and Steffy (Jacqueline MacInnes Wood). Where do I start?
Let's see, Ivy fell down a lot and then decided to move home to Australia. Liam got on the plane; fell, bumped his head and accidentally ended up Down Under too. A distraught Steffy received chaste comfort from Liam's brother Wyatt. Liam flew home to find Steffy and Wyatt in bed together and dumped her (without saying he saw them asleep in bed). Liam then fell and bumped his head again and was taken to a shed in the woods by Quinn (Rena Sofer), who is pretending to be his wife. She and Deacon (Sean Kanan) ended their marriage off screen to help facilitate the shenanigans. Wyatt now wants to "spend the rest of his life with Steffy" after a trip to the beach, and oh yeah, Liam has amnesia.
I'm just gonna say it. The Bold and the Beautiful is better than this bull *!@$. I wouldn't be so cross if this show hadn't told the best damn soap story in a decade last year with Maya (Karla Mosley) coming out as transgender.
I'm not saying every single storyline has to be as socially-relevant, character-focused and provocative as Maya's story, but sheesh. Why turn the show around on a dime hitting every tired soap cliche you can in the process?
Fans have been clamoring for a Quinn/Liam hook-up for years. Why couldn't it have simply been an instance of hate sex? Did we really need daytime's 3,785,213th amnesia story to go there? There are only four soaps left in daytime. This is not the time to be regressing.