Kayla (Mary Beth Evans) just can't seem to get over all of the bad things that have happened in her relationship with Patch (Stephen Nichols). She's also fighting for her life, thanks to the gnarly bump she got on her head while tussling with Patch's deranged ex-flame Ava (Tamara Braun). Does Kay being on the outs with the Patch Man on Days of Our Lives mean she's considering giving her "Sweetness" to another?
Fynn/Kayla/Patch: It looks like Dr. Fynn Thompson is finally about to serve more of a purpose on this show than making me burst into giggle-farts every time Alexander Bruszt attempts dialogue including medical jargon. This week, Patch notices how close his beloved is getting to her doctor. Can he win Kayla back before she learns all about Fynn's bedside manner?
Chad/Abigail/Ben: Poor Abigail (Kate Mansi) checks herself into the funny farm this week. It's just in time too, because she's still having nightmares about Ben (Robert Scott Wilson). Look for Chad (Billy Flynn) to come to rely on Ciara (Vivian Jovanni) in the coming weeks and months.
Victor/Nicole/Deimos: To avenge Maggie (Suzanne Rogers), Nicole (Arianne Zucker) agrees do Victor's (John Aniston) bidding. Nikki plans to cozy up to Deimos (Vincent Irizarry), get him to marry her, then bilk him out of the Kiriakis fortune. Good luck with that, girlfriend.
Rafe/Hope: To borrow from Karyn White, light a candle because it's time to get romantic for these two! Actually, I should have gone back a little further for my song pick. "Romantic" came out in 1991 and Rafe (Galen Gering) will attempt to woo the Widder Brady (Kristian Alfonso) with 80's-themed romantic gestures. When he isn't trying to court, Rafe remembers he's a law man and manages to dig up some dirt of Deimos.
The Teens and Salem High's Prom: Ever the original Casanova, Rafe gets his macking inspiration from the theme for the 2016 Salem High Prom, which is, you guessed it, a throwback to the time of Reagonomics, crack epidemics and stonewashed jeans. At least now the god-awful outfits the teens are wearing in that promo make sense. Watch for adorable Theo (Kyler Pettis) to try his best to make teeth-clenching Ciara's dreams come true. Prom night will ultimately go awry, however, when the tykes are accused of vandalism. I think I saw that episode of Gidget on Nick-at-Nite.
Oh, and look for Joey (James Lastovic) to possibly round the bases with Jade (Paige Searcy), while Cousin Claire (Olivia Rose Keegan) scores herself a hit song on the internet. I bet this news will have Beyonce crying in her lemonade.
Abe/Theo: Abe Carver (James Reynolds) may go way back with the Bradys, but he doesn't want his son anywhere near that hot mess Ciara. Will Theo heed his daddy's stern warning?
Philip/Belle/Shawn/Lani: After a right good screwin', a newly-divorced Belle (Martha Madison) tells Philip (John-Paul Lavoisier) they should run off to Las Vegas, make like Britney Spears and Jason Alexander and get hitched. Glad to see the ex-Mrs. Shawn Brady respecting the sanctity of marriage. As for Sailor Man, Shawn-D (Brandon Beemer) must have a gold-tipped pecker, because Lani (Sal Stowers) is already acting sprung and possessive and he just tapped that like five minutes ago!
Victor/Deimos: The brothers Kiriakis will have yet another near-lethal encounter.
Which Salem U.S.A. plot twists and turns are you most looking forward to this week? Sound off in the comments!