Let's just dive right in.
We open at the WEDDING. The crowd is sparse only Steve, Kayla, Abe, Belle and John…and here comes Valerie! She wants to sing Jarlena’s song, “Up Where We Belong”! Abe mentions Marilyn McCoo! Steve mentions the bionic eye! Here come Brady and Eric, escorting a very veiled Marlena down the very small aisle in Horton Square. Abe keeps asking if anyone objects. An Orpheus mention! A motorcycle! A videotape! Something! As Abe said, “It’s a wedding in Salem!” And here comes the bandaged man . . . who is it . . . It’s Chris Kositchek . . . I mean, Roman, who declares he is the real John Black! The veiled Dr. Marlena Evans is very confused. If Roman is John, then who is John? And then “the real John Black” did the damn thing and named every alias and failed back story that surrounds “John Black” . . . including Yo Ling, Jr.! This is SOAP GOLD! Yo Ling Jr. thinks the real John Black has consumed too much clam chowder. Wait, it’s not Marlena, it’s Hattie! OMG. I don’t know which way to turn. And now, Yo Ling Jr. is walking off with Marbie!!!
And it’s a dream. Of course it is . . . and Ron Carlivati is like “TADOW, HOW YA LIKE ME NOW?”
So, now we’re “Back to life, back to reality.” Eric and Roman are talking about John’s shiner. Honestly, Eric and Roman spend most of their time talking about Roman not going to the wedding, but not a lot else. Most importantly, they mentioned Anna being gone (I miss Anna) and Sami not being there… yet. I have no doubt it will be important later in the week, but for now, we have more important business to attend to.
And here comes Claire Bear and Shawn D! He’s pissed because our cereal eating serial killer is living with their sweet Claire. It’s Belle! Claire is scrambling and says that Grandma Marlena says that he is on the real, sane. Belle stomps out acting like Bridezilla, 'cuz she doesn’t want anything to mess up her mama’s wedding to her true love John Black. Ya hear that, Sami?
Valerie and Kayla are talking about Susan and Marbie, and that crazy bachelorette party. What is happening with the sleeves of Valerie’s dress? Anyway, Kayla is ignoring Valerie’s sleeves and recounting some Stayla history.
Susan has shown up at Dr. Marlena Evans’ room and wants to be part of her big, big, day! Susan is really proud of her outfit, but is more concerned that she will show up Marlena at her own wedding. Marlena is recounting her nightmare (and our glorious dream) about the wedding. Susan wants to calm her nerves by telling her she would never try to steal John Black away from her again! Ooooh, Susan is recounting her history of posing as Kristen, who is MEAN MEAN MEAN! Wait, what? Kristen came to visit Susan at the hospital???
Kayla is crying and Belle wonders what’s wrong, but can’t care too long because Claire Bear is living with a serial killer! Valerie gets a call from Abe to come to the Salem Inn for a covert mission. Kayla and Belle are gonna go check on Marlena . . . who is still dealing with Susan . . . who is sure she saw Kristen! On New Year’s Eve, Kristen came to the hospital, but Marlena says she saw her die in Italy – no you didn’t. You saw her fly out the window…. Y’all, Stacy to the Haiduk is doing Eileen Davidson justice.
Shawn D is still worried about his Claire Bear because they still live in Hong Kong – I wish they would move back to Salem. Shawn D is channeling his inner Beauregard Brady in this conversation with Claire.
Belle and Kayla arrive at the Salem Inn just in time to listen to Susan tell Marlena that she “does not see dead people”. Ever the peacekeeper, unless she is doing Stefan’s bidding in return for a bionic eye, Kayla suggests they move along. Now, Kayla is putting Susan in charge of the centerpieces. I really hope she has a little Marbie to put at each table.
Valerie and her sleeves are trying to figure out what to do with John’s shiner. Speaking of, where is Paul and his fastball? Maybe he’s at the airport keeping trying to keep his mama Tori from breaking up the wedding.
Kayla, Belle, and Marlena are being MEAN, MEAN, MEAN about Susan . . . who is trying to make those centerpieces perfect. In comes Brady, who seems perplexed by Susan, but not for too long as he is looking for a makeup bag.
Back at the hotel, Belle and Kayla are giving gifts of old, new, borrowed and blue. They have everything but the blue. Marbie to the rescue! Cue Susan dropping Marbie to the floor, which is very upsetting.
Before I can start typing, Steve has made a 50 shades reference . . . No one paid attention, and now Valerie and her sleeves are off to do John’s mug. Brady is recounting stories of Susan and the centerpieces, and, oh yeah, that Susan is dangerous, and turned Will into EJ, and somebody maybe should be concerned! We know right is left and up is down when Brady is the logical voice of reason.
In the meantime, Marlena is just sure that Susan is better because she has receipts from the docs in Memphis. Belle is not so sure as she points out that Susan was in a mental institution . . . for the mentally ill. Thanks, Belle.
Valerie, her sleeves and her mad makeup skills have saved the day! Then, Brady runs his big mouth and tells John about Susan. John calls Marlena, which makes her mew. The mewing saves the day! Everything will be just fine. Won't it? Menacing music accompanies the camera as it pans across Doug’s place to the table where Marbie sits WITH A KNIFE IN HER BACK!
Day 3 was AWESOME. See you tomorrow!